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There is a one variable λ-calculus implemented in Haskell's type system here : haskell.org/haskellwiki/Type_arithmetic I'd expect various other extensions give different solutions in Haskell
How about minimum of length plus 10 times the number of commenters who assert they already knew the language had a turing complete type system? Is that objective enough?
Any suggestions? I donno much music theory, but melodic or harmonic might be over specified. How about "Write a bytebeat composition that doesn't sound too computer generated", not necessarily more objective, but specificity often yields objectivity in practice. I doubt you want the up votes by March 1st precedent
There isn't afaik any intrinsic reason to restrict using buffers or other languages, but usually bytebeat means that particular C loop with the output defined by a formula. I voted up Joey Adams answer even thought rand() is non-standard.