Bash, 499 bytes
Why wasn't this a standard loophole?
0000000: 7461 696c 202d 6334 3733 2022 2430 227c tail -c473 "$0"|
0000010: 7a63 6174 3b65 7869 740a 1f8b 0800 5d28 zcat;exit.....](
0000020: a753 0003 4d53 5176 8430 08fc cf29 b81a .S..MSQv.0...)..
0000030: 2a9a bc26 6049 529f 3d7d 27ae 6ef7 2fc2 *..&`IR.=}'.n./.
0000040: 00c3 3056 d6c5 9c0e 3197 4ac5 f44b ce8c ..0V....1.J..K..
0000050: 5808 1669 4566 65b7 75fd cc78 dae5 fe9e X..iEfe.u..x....
0000060: 5c78 2153 9ad8 269e 6a40 9e5a 143a 121e \x!S..&[email protected].:..
0000070: b579 2f95 acb7 1bde ba4a 0dab 5bb9 0303 .y/......J..[...
0000080: 66c7 d38c bd06 0aaf 8f28 6e20 e4a9 0a8d f........(n ....
0000090: a66b da62 0b49 6fec 9a24 2f57 e2f5 5dbf .k.b.Io..$/W..].
00000a0: 3bbb 848f 002b 37f3 0402 21f2 cf43 78e7 ;....+7...!..Cx.
00000b0: 9644 5ba5 d9cf a4db e08a b267 e896 3c3f .D[........g..<?
00000c0: 54b9 8f81 856b 137f 84e1 bc47 9ea4 05f9 T....k.....G....
00000d0: 490f 9076 ebba 548a a9a2 9bf3 a161 1569 I..v..T......a.i
00000e0: f4a6 ba63 0728 74a2 ec99 5352 ce04 bc0a ...c.(t...SR....
00000f0: 7b3e a9f0 2201 31ec 6b8f d285 4f53 65ac {>..".1.k...OSe.
0000100: 1f20 9282 2b80 5dc7 9ba7 fc0e 3ee8 2137 . ..+.].....>.!7
0000110: 4295 76bf 6a9e 495f 0363 6f2a 86ca c8ce B.v.j.I_.co*....
0000120: ba75 a9d7 a166 b763 f927 db6c a4de 3780 .u...f.c.'.l..7.
0000130: 704a b395 0136 aa78 bc53 d860 d8a3 45c3 pJ...6.x.S.`..E.
0000140: 85a0 80a9 04c8 35f3 7717 daa0 7cce 4c73 ......5.w...|.Ls
0000150: 4c65 67fd 1509 b087 8188 5dc3 1b2b 09cf Leg.......]..+..
0000160: 9126 81c0 61b8 e8a5 e0ab bbca 516b 1c2a .&..a.......Qk.*
0000170: 720b 83a5 603d 4873 95b4 23e5 6106 72d9 r...`=Hs..#.a.r.
0000180: 4731 a468 f1b9 7adf 7771 2a52 4000 561b G1.h..z.wq*[email protected].
0000190: b5af 0c4c 18a3 7570 8527 a721 751c d6b8 ...L..up.'.!u...
00001a0: cb0e 5e16 e0e1 58f6 3656 2dec 7384 d3c7 ..^...X.6V-.s...
00001b0: 9cd6 5d29 cb7a bf2a dae4 0553 d8d1 e0ff ..]).z.*...S....
00001c0: a209 b527 ad57 0d36 5ab3 cc4d 2e69 2fda ...'.W.6Z..M.i/.
00001d0: b76f 7996 4fc2 5b57 fa30 756d 1f94 2b1d .oy.O.[W.0um..+.
00001e0: e6f9 fe9f aed7 2174 35f8 03f5 2b98 87b5 ......!t5...+...
00001f0: 0300 00 ...
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