Random script that isn't actually random

Question

As a little joke in the office someone wanted a script that randomly picks a name, and said person will make a round of drinks.

Let's call the people John, Jeff, Emma, Steve and Julie.

I thought it would be funny to make a script that seems random at a quick glance, but actually always gives the same person as the output (Up to you who you choose).

Highest voted answer wins after a week

And the winner is....

Paul R with (currently) 158 votes.

The answers here are great, and if anyone else has any other ideas what haven't been posted yet, please add them, I love reading through them.

Answer 1

PHP with microtime for extra randomisation

$names = array('John', 'Jeff', 'Emma', 'Steve', 'Julie');
$choosenPerson = false;
while($choosenPerson === false){
    // Use microtime for a very random value:
    $uid= substr(microtime(true), 0, 1);
    if( isset($names[$uid]) ){ $choosenPerson = $names[$uid]; }
}

Im going for the microtime misconception. Microtime suggests that we have a very random factor, but im taking the first character which is 1. So for the upcomming years, Jeff will loose a lot of money. After that it'll be Emma :)

Answer 2

Python 2

import random
names = ["John, Jeff, Emma, Steve, Julie"]
print random.choice(names)[:3]

Surprised nobody did something like this before.

"John, Jeff, Emma, Steve, Julie" is one string. Super obvious but whatevs

Answer 3

Python

def iterate(names):
    for name in names:
        yield lambda:name
import random
print random.choice(list(iterate("John Jeff Emma Steve Julie".split())))()

Sorry, Julie!

The name variable int the iterate function is the same one as in the lambdas, so every lambda evaluates the the last name, Julie.

Answer 4

BASH / Coreutils

Quite a beginner at CG, but worth a shot:

RANDOM=$$;
a=$RANDOM
b=9
c=`expr $a % $b `
echo $c

$$ is the PID of the running shell, so the number should be always the same

Answer 5

JavaScript:

function ActuallyNotRandom() {
    this.names = ["John", "Jeff", "Emma", "Steve", "Julie"];

    this.choose = function()
    {
        return this.names[Math.random(this.names.length) * 0];
    }

    return this.choose();
}

console.log("Random person: " + ActuallyNotRandom());

Pretty straightforward, takes a list of names, makes a random number between 0 and the number of names in the list, and then multiplies it by 0 to always return 0. Will therefore actually always return the first name in the list and display it to console.