I
I
as
as
day
day
rich
rich
Act I
Act I
better
better
Juliet:
Juliet:
[Exeunt]
[Exeunt]
as bad as
as bad as
difference
difference
[Exit Romeo]
[Exit Romeo]
Remember me.
Remember me.
Let us return
Let us return
my little pony
my little pony
Speak thy mind!
Speak thy mind!
You are nothing!
You are nothing!
Ophelia, a wench.
Ophelia, a wench.
lying sorry coward
lying sorry coward
Romeo:
Remember me.
Romeo:
Remember me.
cube of thy codpiece
cube of thy codpiece
Listen to your heart.
Listen to your heart.
Recall your childhood!
Recall your childhood!
Are you better than me?
Are you better than me?
[Enter Romeo and Juliet]
[Enter Romeo and Juliet]
remainder of the quotient
remainder of the quotient
Let us return to scene II.
Let us return to scene II.
[Exeunt Ophelia and Hamlet]
[Exeunt Ophelia and Hamlet]
Scene I: Ophelia's flattery.
Scene I: Ophelia's flattery.
You pretty little warm thing!
You pretty little warm thing!
You are as cowardly as Hamlet!
You are as cowardly as Hamlet!
Am I as horrid as a flirt-gill?
Am I as horrid as a flirt-gill?
If so, let us return to scene I.
If so, let us return to scene I.
If not, let us return to scene I.
If not, let us return to scene I.
Open your mind! Remember yourself.
Open your mind! Remember yourself.
Act I: Death!
Scene I: Oh, shit.
Act I: Death!
Scene I: Oh, shit.
Thou art as sweet as a summer's day!
Thou art as sweet as a summer's day!
Art thou more cunning than the Ghost?
Art thou more cunning than the Ghost?
[Enter the Ghost, Romeo and the Ghost]
[Enter the Ghost, Romeo and the Ghost]
the sum of a fat lazy pig and yourself!
the sum of a fat lazy pig and yourself!
the sum of a squirrel and a white horse.
the sum of a squirrel and a white horse.
Juliet:
Speak thy mind!
[Exit Romeo]
Juliet:
Speak thy mind!
[Exit Romeo]
Speak YOUR mind! You are as bad as Hamlet!
Speak YOUR mind! You are as bad as Hamlet!
Am I as horrid as a half-witted flirt-gill?
Am I as horrid as a half-witted flirt-gill?
You are as evil as the square root of Romeo!
You are as evil as the square root of Romeo!
Hamlet:
Art thou more cunning than the Ghost?
Hamlet:
Art thou more cunning than the Ghost?
the product of a rural town and my rich purse.
the product of a rural town and my rich purse.
Romeo:
Speak your mind.
Juliet:
Speak YOUR mind!
Romeo:
Speak your mind.
Juliet:
Speak YOUR mind!
You lying fatherless useless half-witted coward!
You lying fatherless useless half-witted coward!
Scene V: Closure.
Hamlet:
Speak your mind!
[Exeunt]
Scene V: Closure.
Hamlet:
Speak your mind!
[Exeunt]
Othello, a young squire.
Lady Macbeth, an old fart.
Othello, a young squire.
Lady Macbeth, an old fart.
Othello:
Recall your great dreams. Speak your mind!
Othello:
Recall your great dreams. Speak your mind!
Thou art as pretty as the sum of thyself and my dog!
Thou art as pretty as the sum of thyself and my dog!
Romeo:
You are as vile as the sum of me and yourself!
Romeo:
You are as vile as the sum of me and yourself!
Juliet:
Is the sum of Romeo and me as good as nothing?
Juliet:
Is the sum of Romeo and me as good as nothing?
Juliet:
You are as lovely as the sweetest reddest rose.
Juliet:
You are as lovely as the sweetest reddest rose.
Othello:
You lying fatherless useless half-witted coward!
Othello:
You lying fatherless useless half-witted coward!
Romeo:
If not, let us return to Act I. Recall thy riches!
Romeo:
If not, let us return to Act I. Recall thy riches!
Romeo:
You are as disgusting as the square root of Juliet!
Romeo:
You are as disgusting as the square root of Juliet!
Othello:
You are as vile as the sum of yourself and a toad!
Othello:
You are as vile as the sum of yourself and a toad!
Is the quotient between the Ghost and me as good as nothing?
Is the quotient between the Ghost and me as good as nothing?
Thou art as handsome as the sum of yourself and my chihuahua!
Thou art as handsome as the sum of yourself and my chihuahua!
twice the difference between a mistletoe and a oozing blister!
twice the difference between a mistletoe and a oozing blister!
You lying stupid fatherless rotten stinking half-witted coward!
You lying stupid fatherless rotten stinking half-witted coward!
your coward sorry little stuffed misused dusty oozing rotten sky
your coward sorry little stuffed misused dusty oozing rotten sky
You are nothing! You are as vile as the sum of thyself and a pig.
You are nothing! You are as vile as the sum of thyself and a pig.
You are as beautiful as the difference between Juliet and thyself.
You are as beautiful as the difference between Juliet and thyself.
Juliet:
Am I better than you?
Romeo:
If so, let us proceed to Act V.
Juliet:
Am I better than you?
Romeo:
If so, let us proceed to Act V.
The Ghost:
You are as small as the sum of yourself and a stone wall!
The Ghost:
You are as small as the sum of yourself and a stone wall!
Thou art as disgusting as the difference between Othello and thyself!
Thou art as disgusting as the difference between Othello and thyself!
You are as handsome as the sum of Romeo and his black lazy squirrel!
You are as handsome as the sum of Romeo and his black lazy squirrel!
Scene I: Dialogues.
[Enter Juliet]
Othello:
Speak your mind!
[Exit Juliet]
Scene I: Dialogues.
[Enter Juliet]
Othello:
Speak your mind!
[Exit Juliet]
twice the difference between a mistletoe and an oozing infected blister!
twice the difference between a mistletoe and an oozing infected blister!
You are nothing! Remember me. Recall your unhappy story! Speak your mind!
You are nothing! Remember me. Recall your unhappy story! Speak your mind!
You are as sweet as the sum of the sum of Romeo and his horse and his cat!
You are as sweet as the sum of the sum of Romeo and his horse and his cat!
Is the remainder of the quotient between Othello and me as good as nothing?
Is the remainder of the quotient between Othello and me as good as nothing?
Thou art as rich as the sum of thyself and my dog! Let us return to scene I.
Thou art as rich as the sum of thyself and my dog! Let us return to scene I.
[Exit Hamlet]
[Enter Romeo]
Juliet:
Open your heart.
[Exit Juliet]
[Enter Hamlet]
[Exit Hamlet]
[Enter Romeo]
Juliet:
Open your heart.
[Exit Juliet]
[Enter Hamlet]
The Ghost:
Speak thy mind.
Lady Macbeth:
Listen to thy heart! Remember thyself.
The Ghost:
Speak thy mind.
Lady Macbeth:
Listen to thy heart! Remember thyself.
