340 votes

Make your language unusable

JavaScript Shell This will make the language completely unusable. clear(this); Isn't it nice how JavaScript has such a nice function to destroy itself? This ...
Downgoat's user avatar
  • 28.9k
187 votes

Make your language unusable

Emmental ;#33! I know this isn't code golf, but the right tool for the job, you know... The user's code can be inserted after the ...
Martin Ender's user avatar
107 votes

Make your language unusable

PHP One can completely kill PHP by setting the memory limit to 1. It will completely die. Try this: <?php ini_set('memory_limit',1); //code here This ...
Ismael Miguel's user avatar
99 votes

Make your language unusable

x86 machine code in real mode (=> almost any DOS program) 00000000 6a 00 07 b9 00 04 30 c0 31 ff f3 aa |j.....0.1...| 0000000c i.e. ...
Matteo Italia's user avatar
83 votes

Reversed language name

PHP, 3 bytes PHP Try it online! It looks like it outputs the language name, but it's actually the letters in reversed order.
Stewie Griffin's user avatar
77 votes

Make your language unusable

Java ...
DankMemes's user avatar
  • 2,849
72 votes

Make an error quine!

Windows .EXE, 248 bytes ...
MD XF's user avatar
  • 13.8k
70 votes

Make your language unusable

Lua _ENV="" In Lua, _ENV is the environment that all global variables, functions, tables, etc are stored in. Defining ...
Nico A's user avatar
  • 2,530
58 votes

Make your language unusable

Shakespeare Programming Language ...
3.14ed_Piper's user avatar
54 votes

Make your language unusable

Smalltalk I'm not sure if this qualifies: Smalltalk := Nil. This deletes the entire run-time environment, hanging the object engine. The only way to fix this is to ...
MathematicalOrchid's user avatar
50 votes

Can you give me half? (No digits)

Jelly, 177 bytes ...
hyper-neutrino's user avatar
  • 41.3k
49 votes

Write a Programming language of Unknown Completeness

Legendre This language is only Turing-complete if and only if Legendre's conjecture is false, i.e. there exists a integer n > 0 such that there are no primes between n^2 and (n+1)^2. This language ...
ivzem's user avatar
  • 1,309
47 votes

Make your language unusable

Haskell There are a couple of possibilities here. Boring idea #1: Define main to do nothing. Now no matter what other code you write, it can never execute. (Unless ...
MathematicalOrchid's user avatar
47 votes

Make your language unusable

PostScript Yes, PostScript is a programming language. Moreover, it's a programming language where all language constructs are system-defined functions, which can be redefined... ...
MathematicalOrchid's user avatar
45 votes

Patch the Image

Matlab This is a simple interpolation approach. The idea is first mirroring what is on each side of the patch. Then those mirror image pixels are interpolated by how close they are to the ...
flawr's user avatar
  • 43.7k
41 votes

Literally code golf

evil, JavaScript (ES6) ...
grc's user avatar
  • 19k
40 votes

Make your language unusable

Any program executing under Linux/x86(-64) This program is written in C, but it can disrupt execution of any program running under Linux/x86 (-32 or -64). You prepend it to the command-line ...
zwol's user avatar
  • 568
36 votes

Make your language unusable

TeX \catcode`\\=10 I'm not sure this will actually work, but in theory this should break \ as escape character leaving you no ...
Cephalopod's user avatar
35 votes

Make your language unusable

Scratch The when [timer v] > (0) will run as soon as the code is initialised, which if you're in the editor is before you even start the code. The ...
wizzwizz4's user avatar
  • 2,379
34 votes

Create a programming language that only appears to be unusable

Shuffle (written in C++), Cracked! by Martin Edit Martin cracked it. To see his solution, click the link. My solution has also been added. Edit Fixed print-d ...
Liam's user avatar
  • 3,205
33 votes

Images with all colors

C# Wow, really cool things in this challenge. I took a stab at this at in C# and generated a 4096x4096 image in about 3 minutes (i7 CPU) using every single color via Random Walk logic. Ok, so for ...
applejacks01's user avatar
  • 1,057
32 votes

Confound my attempts to solve the halting problem

brainfuck, 6013 4877 4376 bytes Edit: -1136 bytes. Switched to a better way of generating the data for the quine Edit2: -501 bytes. Revisited my self-interpreter and cut it down a couple of hundred ...
Jo King's user avatar
  • 47.1k
32 votes

8 ought to become Infinity

Python3 Clean Program: This is just a standard countdown while loop. n = 8 while n != 0: n -= 1 print("done") Augmented Program: ...
Maltysen's user avatar
  • 25.7k
32 votes

Print a Variable's Name

Java ...
Poke's user avatar
  • 3,175
31 votes

Computer Generated Cracked Soil

Mathematica A Voronoi diagram looks like this drawing, from Wikipedia, showing 19 cells, each containing a single seed point. A cell consists of the subregion of points which the respective ...
DavidC's user avatar
  • 25.3k
30 votes

Make your language unusable

PHP I'm suprised that it actually works, but closing STDOUT and STDERR suppresses all output. To be sure that they will not be ...
Fabian Schmengler's user avatar
30 votes

Make your language unusable

Mathematica / Wolfram Language Mathematica is an interpreted language in which command names are symbols that can be manipulated by the programmer. You can't delete built-in operators, but you can ...
Michael Stern's user avatar
30 votes

Paint by Numbers (using programming, not numbers)

Spectral airbrushing (Python, PIL, scipy) This uses a sophisticated mathematical algorithm to produce colourful nonsense. The algorithm is related to Google's PageRank algorithm, but for pixels ...
N. Virgo's user avatar
  • 7,232
29 votes

Create a programming language that only appears to be unusable

Brian & Chuck, Cracked by cardboard_box I've been intrigued for some time now by the idea of a programming language where two programs interact with each other (probably inspired by ROCB). This ...
Martin Ender's user avatar

Only top scored, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible