JavaScript
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    function pick(names) {
      var r = Math.floor(Math.random * names.length);
      for (var i = 0; i < names.length; i++) { if (i >= r) { break; } }
      return names[i-1];
    }
    alert(pick(["John", "Jeff", "Emma", "Steve", "Julie"]));

The gods have spoken, Julie. Don't fight destiny.

>! Like all fearlessly awesome languages, JavaScript not only forgoes an exception and returns a value when you "invoke" a function without parenthesis; but also when you multiply by something that is not a number.