GolfScript, <s>162</s> <s>154</s> <s>152</s> 144 bytes = <!-- language: lang-c++ --> "I'm ":i"Slim ":|"Shady":y". Yes, "i"the real ":!y". All you other "|y"s are just imitating. So, won't "!|y" p""lease stand up":l"? P"l". P"l"." [Test online](http://golfscript.apphb.com/?c=IkknbSAiOmkiU2xpbSAiOnwiU2hhZHkiOnkiLiBZZXMsICJpInRoZSByZWFsICI6IXkiLgpBbGwgeW91IG90aGVyICJ8eSJzIGFyZSBqdXN0IGltaXRhdGluZy4KU28sIHdvbid0ICIhfHkiIHAiImxlYXNlIHN0YW5kIHVwIjpsIj8KUCJsIi4gUCJsIi4i)