I made a joke the other day and sent it to some friends. One replied back "I love the irony!" and I looked at it and realized there was some irony in it. But that wasn't the irony she saw - the irony she was was the punchline of the joke, which wasn't ironic in the slightest.
And it got me thinking about a certain other instance that isn't ironic at all. And I have to admit, I love that song.
Have you read it's lyrics before? They're so deep!
An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic... don't you thinkIt's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures"Mr. Play It Safe" was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic... don't you thinkIt's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figuresWell life has a funny way
Of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay
And everything's going right
And life has a funny way
Of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong
And everything blows up in your faceA traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...don't you think
A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think...It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figuresLife has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out
You know what I could really use? I could use a program that would spit out these lyrics. But, just like how this song has nothing ironic in it, you also will not be permitted to use anything ironic in your submission. That means no upper or lowercase i, r, o, n, or c may appear in your program.
The program requires no input, and will output the exact text in the quote. Newlines included, but any trailing whitespace is accidental and you should ignore that. Any punctuation is required.
The usual loopholes are obviously disallowed, and since this is code golf, the lowest score wins.
What would be ironic would be if the restrictions on this make any submission automatically longer than the actual dump of the text.
