Creative Programming [closed]

Question

Make a story out of your programming. Example in JavaScript:

self.book = {
    "story": function() {
        var once = "upon",
            aTime = setTimeout(function() {
                // Code would continue...
            }, 1000)
    }
};

self.book.story();

Stipulations:

• Must run error-free before, during, and after it's compiled.
• You can only use up to two words for the story per String/name.
  • JavaScript Example:
    var story = "Once upon a"; // Wrong (Using more than two words)
var story = "Onceupona"; // Wrong (Using more than two "words")
var onceUponA = "time"; // Wrong (more than two words as a variable name)
var onceUpon = "a time"; // This is fine
var story = "Once upon"; // This is fine
• The story must be a complete sentence (at least).
• Having some sort of output (such as "printing" the story itself) is not necessary, but it's a plus.
• Bring some creativity into it.

Since there are no length rules, the answer with the most votes / best creativity will win. :)

Answer 1

JavaScript

Not sure how historically accurate this, but it's a mini-history of ECMAScript. Please feel free to suggest improvements.

function story() {
    var IE = {
        from: "Microsoft"
    },
        Netscape = {
            from: "Mozilla"
        };
    var setUp = {
        oncethere: "were two",
        browsers: IE + Netscape
    };
    var parts = {

        And: function() {
            var theyfought = "to be",
                theBest = "browser";
        },
        oneday: function() {
            var they = {
                added: function() {
                    var add = "scripting languages";
                    Netscape.language = add;
                    IE.language = add;
                    return add;
                },
                thought: function() {
                    if (what(they.added) === good) {
                        they.wouldBeat = "the other";
                    }
                }
            };

        },
        andso: function() {
            function callLanguage(name) { return name };
            Netscape.language = callLanguage("Javascript");
            IE.language = callLanguage("JScript");
        },
        butThen: function() {
            var ECMA = "Standards Committee";
            (function standardized(languages) {
                (function into() {
                    return "ECMAScript";
                })();
            })([IE.language, Netscape.language]);

        },
        theEnd: function() {
            return {
                andWe: "all lived",
                happilyEver: "after..."
            };
        },
        what: function(thing) {
            return thing;
        },
        good: true || false
    };
}
story();

Answer 2

Reminds me of LOLCode, everything is sort of a story (or at least a "conversation"):

HAI
CAN HAS STDIO?
I HAS A VAR
IM IN YR LOOP
    UPZ VAR!!1
    VISIBLE VAR
    IZ VAR BIGR THAN 10? GTFO. KTHX
KTHX
KTHXBYE

Answer 3

JavaScript

'How';do{'computers'^Function}while(0);'they have'|'no power?'

The output is: 0 on console :D

Answer 4

It's not so much of a story, and what the program does has nothing to do with what the code says, but...

C++

/* Preface (assuming nobody reads it anyway): */
#include <iostream>
#include <fstream>
#include <string>
#include <map>
#include <functional>
#include <time.h>
using namespace std;
int



/*Beginning   the*/ main(){//story:

#define   a   string
ofstream ing___water;   a   river;

#define   the
long   rivers,
each,  is
(a ( river +"of").length() > 4 );
a   normal ( river +"has   the");
a bility;   for ( float ing;  short (~1 - - 2 );){
char coal,  loaded,  ships,  on,  its,  water;
coal = is;  a   lot,   lighter;
if ( lighter  .compare ( normal ))water = 'H'*2+'O'; }

a   heavier,  ship,  may;  do { a   worse,  job;  a nd,  run;
a ground; }while ( "you"&&false)//ly
;try { a nd ( "navigate   through");
a ny, such ( normal.size()==rivers     ? 

the  "ship" : may + "then"); }
catch ( exception ally ) { a wful;}} struct ural___damage {
long   before ( the   time_t o)                                                                                               const{
return "to" == a( "harbour");
for ( a   rescue ("from   leaking"),
its ("load   or");o<the'r';) {
ofstream ing,  substances;
if ("not"=="even"||substances/*that*/.put( 'a').bad())
double   damage,  to,  both   the ((short) "river"[1]);
a nd   the ("overall   environment[2].");}}

a   sentient,  ship_owner,  should,  h;int //to
the operator<( struct ural___damage   might)                                                                                  const{
a lso( "occur"), to( "his   own"),health( "when   not");
using   the ::map;
to  .find(  a ( "river   that's"),long( ~3 ) );
(to+="avoid")+=the "trouble   and";
(to+="cause")+=(less</*r*/ural___damage>()
(*this,/*seems like*/*this)?"is": a( "good   idea"));


return before ( the   time(0))||"is"==to +"late";}};

As plain text:

Beginning the main story:
define a string ofstreaming water a river;
define the long rivers, each is a river of length > 4;
a normal river has the ability for floating short (~1--2) charcoal-loaded ships on its water; coal is a lot lighter if lighter compare normal water = H2O;
a heavier ship may do a worse job and run aground while you falsely try and navigate through any such normalsize rivers, the ship may then catch exeptionally awful structural damage long before the time to_const return to a harbour for a rescue from leaking its load or other ofstreaming substances, if not even substances that put a bad double damage to both the short river [1] and the overall environment[2].
a sentient ship_owner should hint to the operator structural damage might_const also occur to his own health when not using the map to find a river that's long(~3) to avoid the trouble and to cause less rural damage. this seems like this is a good idea. return before the time is to late.

Answer 5

Brainfuck

+++++ +   + +++++ +++++ +++++   +++++ +++++ 
  +   +   + +     +   + +         +   +     
  +   +++++ +++   +++++ +++       +   +++++ 
  +   +   + +     + ++  +         +       . 
  +   +   + +++++ +   + +++++   +++++ +++++ 

+++++ +   + +     +   +   +++++ +   + +.+++ 
[   + ]+  + +      + +    +   + ++  + +     
+   + + [ + ]       +     +   + + + + +++   
+   + +  ++ +       +     +   + +  ++ +     
+++++ +   + +++++   +     ++++. +   + +++++ 

++++  +++++ +++++ +++++  +   +              
+   + +   + +   +   +    ++  +              
++++  +++++ +++++   +    + + +              
+   + + +   +   +   +    +  ++     +        
++++  +   + +   + +.[+]  +   +    +         

+++++ +   + +++++ +   + +++++ +++++ +++++ . 
+     +   + +     +  +  +     +   + +     + 
+++   +   + +     +++   +++   +++++ +++++ + 
+     +   + +     +  +  +     + ++      +   
.     +++++ +++++ +   + +++++ +   + +++++ . 

I "accidentally" ran this through bf and that came out

It's Me

*SCNR* :)

Answer 6

BASIC

slightly simplistic, but very true for those of us who stay up till 3 AM debugging...

On Error GoTo sleep

Answer 7

Python Love

def initely(there, were):
    if not None:
        atLeast = not "many"
    who.made("my heart")
    "beat as", you.do(_,_)
    return your.smile
warm = "ly"

try:
    toKeep = "it" + warm
    while walkingHome: pass
    ing(emptyWindows)
except:ionally = "sad"
finally: it = "'s over"

your = not any([1, "to me"]) or "just my toy" and \
type("",(), {"youWere": "more"} )()

your.smile = "kept me"
_ = warm in "these days"

but, you = "were failed by", your #love: me

if _: only(I)
hadKnown, you.were = "innocent as a", lambda \
young, blueEyed: \
[("but ", "the retribution") for myMisdoings #comes
in "time"]

sometimes, you.do = ("make me", #think of who
you.were) 
""in "another story"

I, who = "I've been", your#'s
"sit" in "my room"
"look"in"g at" #old photographs
#relentlessly remembering
the, love = you.do, "give to me"
who.made = all #these mistakes

"Had thought" + it + "would go"
on = "inf"+initely(
"Oh!, the", "fool I've")#been
regretting = all("my errors") #today

_, im = "hold" in "paraly","sys"
_ = open; "cans" and "cans of" 
_ = _(__import__(#ed beer
im).#in a d
argv[0]#id
).read() #sad poems

love, is_ = the, "thing I" #miss forever
iTake = "my camera"
go = "out to have"
new, photos = "to look", _ #at

print ("them" if 0 #they're dull
else _); "they make" + "me think of", love("lost", "for me")

EDIT: This is now a (if cheated) quine.

Answer 8

bash or other shells on Unix or Linux:

who am I & whereis edit || eliza && find ada 

Answer 9

I really can't claim this one to myself, but I think it would be really good for you all to be able to look at it.

This is called PHP Sad Poem, and comes from here.

$timeWaiting = 0;
while (!$you->near($me)) {
    $me->thinkAbout($you);
    switch (true) {
        case $timeWaiting < 5:
            $me->wait($you);
            break;
        case $timeWaiting < 10:
            $me->worry();
            break;
        case $timeWaiting < 20:
            $me->lookFor($you);
            break;
        case $timeWaiting < 40:
            $me->worry();
            $me->lookFor($you);
            break;
        case $timeWaiting < 80:
            $me->worry();
            $me->cry();
            $me->lookFor($you);
            $me->lookFor($you);
            $me->lookFor($you);
            break;
        case $timeWaiting < 160:
            $me->worry();
            $me->cry();
            $me->drink();
            $me->lookFor($you);
            $me->lookFor($you);
            $me->lookFor($you);
            $me->thinkAbout($you);
            $me->thinkAbout($you);
            $me->cry();
            $me->lookFor($you);
            $me->lookFor($you);
            $me->drink();
            $me->drink();
            break;
        default:
            throw new CantLiveWithoutYou();
            die(“alone”);
        }
    $timeWaiting++;
}
$me->happy = true;