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We all know the classic dad joke that goes something like this:

  1. Somebody says a sentence to describe their self (e.g. I'm tired or I'm confused).

  2. A dad-joke enthusiast comes along and replies Hi <adjective>, I'm Dad!, because introductions follow the same format (I'm Peter follows the same format as I'm hungry).

Your job is to take in an input in the form of a self-descriptor, and output the appropriate dad-joke form, but instead of using the word "Dad", you'll use the name of the programming language you're programming in.

Test cases (assume that they are being parsed by Python):

I'm amazing                  Hi amazing, I'm Python!
I'm tired                    Hi tired, I'm Python!
I'm hungry                   Hi hungry, I'm Python!
I'm fat                      Hi fat, I'm Python!

Now assume that these test cases are being parsed by Golfscript:

I'm a programmer             Hi a programmer, I'm Golfscript!
I'm a question-writer        Hi a question-writer, I'm Golfscript!
I'm a Stack-Overflow-er      Hi a Stack-Overflow-er, I'm Golfscript!

The exact challenge:

  1. Take in a string in the self-descriptor format (I'm <adjective> or I'm a(n) <noun>) using standard input or through a function.

    • Assume there is no ending punctuation.

    • Assume the word I'm is used and not I am.

  2. Convert it to a dad-joke format - see the above examples for exactly how that should look.

Other stuff:


Leaderboard

You can view the leaderboard for this post by expanding the widget/snippet below. In order for your post to be included in the rankings, you need a header (# header text) with the following info:

  • The name of the language (end it with a comma , or dash -), followed by...

  • The byte count, as the last number to appear in your header.

For example, JavaScript (ES6), 72 bytes is valid, but Fortran, 143 bytes (8-bit) is invalid because the byte count is not the last number in the header (your answer will be recognized as 8 bytes - don't take advantage of this).

<iframe src="https://xmikee1.github.io/ppcg-leaderboard/?id=185872" width="100%" height="100%" style="border: none;">Oops, your browser is too old to view this content! Please upgrade to a newer version of your browser that supports HTML5.</iframe><style>html,body{margin:0;padding:0;height:100%;overflow:hidden}</style>

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  • 39
    \$\begingroup\$ One of the ways I considered telling my family that my wife was expecting was by telling as many dad jokes as possible and seeing who caught on! \$\endgroup\$ – Giuseppe May 21 at 0:54
  • 7
    \$\begingroup\$ Some example outputs end with exclamation and some do not. What is the significance? \$\endgroup\$ – recursive May 21 at 1:56
  • 9
    \$\begingroup\$ Usual practice is to give it much longer before accepting an answer, if you do so at all: codegolf.meta.stackexchange.com/q/2035/66252 \$\endgroup\$ – user2390246 May 21 at 10:58
  • 7
    \$\begingroup\$ And the tie-breaker isn't votes, it's who reached the lowest score first. \$\endgroup\$ – Shaggy May 21 at 12:08
  • 4
    \$\begingroup\$ Now waiting for the next golfing language that's name is an empty string. \$\endgroup\$ – 640KB May 21 at 18:24

73 Answers 73

1
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Pyth, 21 bytes

++"Hi">z3", I'm Pyth!

Try it here

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1
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Malbolge, 24477 bytes

Mors sum, Dominus Pestifer Mundi

Hi, Dominus Pestifer Mundi, I'm dad!

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Try it online!

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0
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AutoHotkey, 43 bytes

s := "I'm tired"
MsgBox % "Hi"SubStr(s,4)", I'm AutoHotkey!"

Not sure what's considered an output in AutoHotkey and I guess input string is not counted, so in that case the second line is 43 bytes.

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  • \$\begingroup\$ Welcome to the site. Do you really need spaces around the operators? \$\endgroup\$ – Sriotchilism O'Zaic May 21 at 12:11
  • \$\begingroup\$ Welcome to PPCG. Note, though, that we don't allow input to be assigned to a pre-defined variable. \$\endgroup\$ – Shaggy May 21 at 12:12
0
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AutoIt, 45

Msgbox(0,0,"Hi "&$cmdLine[2]&", I'm AutoIt")

Grabs the second word from the command line and puts it in a popup. (Must be compiled to exe)

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  • \$\begingroup\$ What happens if there's more than two words, such as with the test case for I'm a programmer? I don't have the language installed. \$\endgroup\$ – Value Ink May 22 at 18:41
0
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TeX, 48 43 bytes

Yes I could save a byte by writing TeX instead of \TeX, but it seems a shame.

\def\s[#1]#2#3#4{}\def~[#1]{Hi\s[]#1, I'm \TeX!}

Update: saved 3 5 bytes thanks to fixed pattern matching.

\def\s[]I'm{}\def~[#1]{Hi\s[]#1, I'm \TeX!}

Test file

\def\s[]I'm{}\def~[#1]{Hi\s[]#1, I'm \TeX!}
~[I'm amazing]
~[I'm hungry]
~[I'm tired]
~[I'm fat]
~[I'm a programmer]
~[I'm a question-writer]
~[I'm a Stack-Overflow-er]
\bye

Output: Hi amazing, I'm TeX! Hi hungry, I'm TeX! Hi tired, I'm TeX! Hi fat, I'm TeX! Hi a programmer, I'm TeX! Hi a question-writer, I'm TeX! Hi a Stack-Overflow-er, I'm TeX!

Try it online!

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0
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Gema, 20 19 characters

<G>*=Hi*, $1 Gema\!

Sample run:

bash-4.4$ echo -n "I'm amazing" | gema '<G>*=Hi*, $1 Gema\!'
Hi amazing, I'm Gema!

bash-4.4$ echo -n "I'm a programmer" | gema '<G>*=Hi*, $1 Gema\!'
Hi a programmer, I'm Gema!

Try it online!

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0
\$\begingroup\$

Rexx (Regina), 35 bytes

say"Hi"substr(arg(1),4)", I'm Rexx"

Try it online!

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0
\$\begingroup\$

Dart, 40 39 bytes

f(s)=>"Hi${s.substring(3)}, I'm Dart!";

Try it online!

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  • \$\begingroup\$ Use substring(3) to allow you to remove the space before it and save a byte. \$\endgroup\$ – Value Ink May 22 at 18:39
0
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Bean, 30 bytes

00000000: 56d8 8100 d3d0 80a0 5d20 8081 253c 5881  VØ..ÓÐ. ] ..%<X.
00000010: 01c8 69ac a0c9 a7ed a0c2 e5e1 ee21       .Èi¬ É§í Âåáî!

Original JavaScript:

`Hi${a.slice(3)}, I'm Bean!`

The program takes the first line of raw input implicitly in a, removing the first three characters, and outputs the template above using that string.

Demo


Test Suite

00000000: 53d0 80d3 d080 a078 2080 8840 a05d 56d8  SÐ.ÓÐ. x ..@ ]VØ
00000010: 8100 d3d0 80a0 5d20 8081 253c 5881 0120  ..ÓÐ. ] ..%<X.. 
00000020: 807b 2381 02c8 69ac a0c9 a7ed a0c2 e5e1  .{#..Èi¬ É§í Âåá
00000030: ee21 0a                                  î!.

Original JavaScript:

_.map(a=>`Hi${a.slice(3)}, I'm Bean!`).join('\n')

The test suite takes all the lines of raw input implicitly in _, applies the first program to each line using map(), then outputs each result per line.

Demo

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0
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아희 (Aheui), 319 bytes

밦밚따밬다발빠받밠따따빠따따밟밢밙다다다분
뭏떠벓벑떠떠벐벌벋떠떠벉더너벅번뻐떠뻐떠벊
맣@섹뵗솬밯삭밧타뿌싿삳빠맣박밯빠싸주마붗
반밚따따두쪼@썽선처손@@@오섣멓서차소빠
성멓뻐섣멓@@@@@@희@먛@셔멓섣멓멓멓

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Prints 아희(official Korean name of the language) instead of Aheui, so the code is quite long.

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0
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Assembly (gcc, x64, Linux), 315 bytes

h:.int 26952
s:.int 32
g:.asciz ", I'm GNU Assembler!\n"
.globl main
main:
mov %rdi, %r13
mov %rsi, %r14
lea h, %rdi
mov $0, %rax
call printf
mov $2, %r15
l:
lea s, %rdi
mov $0, %rax
call printf
mov (%r14, %r15, 8), %rdi
mov $0, %rax
call printf
inc %r15
cmp %r15, %r13
jg l
lea g, %rdi
mov $0, %rax
call printf
ret

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Ungolfed:

.section .bss

.section .data

hi:
.asciz  "Hi"

space:
.asciz  " "

imgnuasm:
.asciz  ", I'm GNU Assembler!\n"

badArgumentCount:
.asciz  "Requires at least two arguments\n"


.section .text
.globl main
main:

cmpq $3, %rdi # must have at least two arguments
jl .error

movq %rdi, %r13 # save argc
movq %rsi, %r14 # save argv

leaq hi, %rdi
movq $0, %rax   #%rax holds how many xmm regs to be used in x86-64
call printf

movq $2, %r15 # because (%r14, %r15(==0), 8) is the program path and (%r14, %r15(==1), 8) is "I'm"

.loopbegin:

  leaq space, %rdi
  movq $0, %rax
  call printf

  movq (%r14, %r15, 8), %rdi #(%r14, %r15, 8)
  movq $0, %rax
  call printf

  incq %r15
  cmp %r15, %r13
  jg .loopbegin


  leaq imgnuasm, %rdi
  movq $0, %rax
  call printf

  jmp .done

.error:
  leaq badArgumentCount, %rdi
  movq $0, %rax #%rax holds how many xmm regs to be used in x86-64
  call printf

.done:
  movq $0, %rax # return 0 (success)
  ret
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0
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k, 21 bytes

,[;", I'm k!"]"Hi",3_
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0
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C# .NET, 94 bytes

class P{static void Main(string[]a){System.Console.Write($"Hi {a[0].Substring(4)}, I'm C#");}}

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