How much code would a codegolf golf if a codegolf could golf code?

Question

Write a function or program that takes two words as input and outputs variants of the popular English tongue-twister "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?".

The output will use the first word four times

• How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

and the second word four times

• How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

with the rest of the output being the same for any inputs.

• How muchwoodwould awoodchuckchuckif awoodchuckcouldchuckwood?

The input and output can be in any format that your language reasonably recognizes as dealing with strings of text. The output must be exactly in the indicated format, including capitalization, spaces and lack thereof, and the ending question mark. An optional trailing newline is acceptable.

Ideally your code will handle input containing any printable ASCII characters. However, it is permitted to restrict the input to reasonable subsets of printable ASCII; just indicate this in your answer. Handling larger character sets is of course fine.

Example input-output pairs:

"wood", "chuck"
"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

"ground", "hog"
"How much ground would a groundhog hog if a groundhog could hog ground?"

"bar", "keep"
"How much bar would a barkeep keep if a barkeep could keep bar?"

"money", "belt"
"How much money would a moneybelt belt if a moneybelt could belt money?"

"rain", "fall"
"How much rain would a rainfall fall if a rainfall could fall rain?"

"hair", "cut"
"How much hair would a haircut cut if a haircut could cut hair?"

"green", "house"
"How much green would a greenhouse house if a greenhouse could house green?"

"jabber", "wock"
"How much jabber would a jabberwock wock if a jabberwock could wock jabber?"

"pine", "apple"
"How much pine would a pineapple apple if a pineapple could apple pine?"

"Rob", "Lowe"
"How much Rob would a RobLowe Lowe if a RobLowe could Lowe Rob?"

"code", "golf"
"How much code would a codegolf golf if a codegolf could golf code?"

"fish", ""
"How much fish would a fish  if a fish could  fish?"

"", "fish"
"How much  would a fish fish if a fish could fish ?"

"", ""
"How much  would a   if a  could  ?"

"  ", "     "
"How much    would a               if a         could         ?"

"would a", "how much"
"How much would a would a would ahow much how much if a would ahow much could how much would a?"

This is code-golf, so fewest bytes wins. Answers are welcome in all languages, even if some other language can do it in fewer bytes.

(Inspired by this meme, which uses one input pair better than this rigid pattern does....)

Answer 1

Python 3, 70 67 bytes

"How much {0} would a {0}{1} {1} if a {0}{1} could {1} {0}?".format

Try it online!

I mean, if the shoe fits..

Thanks to manatwork for catching a typo

Thanks to Remco Haszing for the excellent -3 bytes idea

I am running off of the assumption that this would still be a valid submission (because man, it's too cool not to try). If OP could clarify whether this is acceptable (because I haven't written a function, per se), that would be appreciated.

Update: Blessing received, all is good :)

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Previous version:

lambda a,b:f"How much {a} would a {a+b} {b} if a {a+b} could {b} {a}?"

Answer 2

T-SQL, 82 bytes

SELECT'How much '+w+' would a '+w+c+' '+c+' if a '+w+c+' could '+c+' '+w+'?'FROM t

Input is taken from pre-existing table \$t\$ with columns \$w\$ and \$c\$, per our IO rules.

One byte longer, but for some reason slightly more pleasing:

SELECT REPLACE(REPLACE('How much 1 would a 12 2 if a 12 could 2 1?',1,w),2,c)FROM t

This version works on a subset of inputs that don't include the numeral 2 in the first word \$w\$.

Because I'm in SQL, I can pre-load all examples into the table, and run them all at once:

Answer 3

Bash, 50 bytes

echo How much $2 {would,$1\ if}\ a\ $2$1 could $@?

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-5 bytes due to help from comments below.

Answer 4

Stax, 33 31 30 29 bytes

-1 thanks to recursive!

¢èO∩sP↑å♥|1╧ì}ò♂xb■δå«█Γ╨╦►Q²

Run and debug it at staxlang.xyz!

Push each component to the stack in reverse order, then join all with spaces.

Unpacked (35 bytes) and explanation:

X'?+;`IM'`x;+Y`~^$`,y`75\`x`Q)("`LJ
X                                      Set register X to the first word
                                       "wood"
 '?+                                   Append a question mark, popping from the input stack
                                       "wood?"
    ;                                  Peek from input stack and push to main stack
                                       "chuck" "wood?"
     `IM'`                             Literal "could"
                                       "could" "chuck" "wood?"
          x;+Y                         Peek register x. Peek input. Concatenate. Set register Y.
                                       "woodchuck" "could" "chuck" "wood?"
              et cetera, ad nauseam
                                  LJ   Listify the stack and join with spaces
                                       Implicit print

Everything between `` is compressed string literal. That comma is vital. The last time I read from the input stack, I must pop rather than peek to avoid an extra "chuck" on the end of my output.

You'll notice that I put both inputs on the same line for a few test cases, and that they're in reverse order. This is necessary in order to take empty strings or strings of spaces as input.

27 26 25 bytes with restrictions on input

Æ♂r▓╚£╛☻→Θ─|3ëE3╒╢Ik¶A◙#Θ

Run and debug it at staxlang.xyz!

Just like @dzaima's SOGL, this will fail if the first input contains the lowercase letter 'y'. Pushes the string "How much b would a by y if a by could y b?", then makes a pair of replacements.

Answer 5

JavaScript, 70 bytes

Boring!

a=>b=>`How much ${a} would a ${a+b} ${b} if a ${a+b} could ${b} ${a}?`

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Mildly less boring!

a=>"How much 0 would a 01 1 if a 01 could 1 0?".replace(/\d/g,x=>a[x])

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Answer 6

SOGL, 32 30 bytes

^.](9V;⅜‛°@Ε¬tπs%.½Ω‘⁽ b,ŗ y,ŗ

Try it here!

The first input can't contain the letter y, which seems to leave a reasonable subset of ASCII (and unicode) left.

½ouiīZģ9Ο|ΧyΚ⅞ō÷Jeq(‚7‘ is a compressed string of "how much b would a by y if a by could y b?" (characters chosen so the required words are all in the top 512 words of the dictionary which compress better), then b is replaced with the 1st input and y with the 2nd.

Answer 7

ZX Spectrum Basic, 87 bytes

Just for completeness, straightforward implementation:

INPUT a$,b$: PRINT "How much ";a$;" would a ";a$;b$;"  ";b$;" if a ";a$;b$;" could ";b$;" ";a$;"?"

Using the IF keyword (1 byte) golfes it down by 3 bytes, but breaks the "same capitalization" condition:

INPUT a$,b$: PRINT "How much ";a$;" would a ";a$;b$;"  ";b$;" IF a ";a$;b$;" could ";b$;" ";a$;"?"

Answer 8

Rust, 75 bytes

|a,b|print!("How much {} would a {0}{} {1} if a {0}{1} could {1} {0}?",a,b)

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Using this trick, which let's you skip the formatting index once per item to format.

Also using print!(), because it's one byte shorter than building a string with format!() and returning it.

Answer 9

R, 90 77 76 bytes

-13 thanks to Sumner18
-1 thanks to Giuseppe

function(x,y,`[`=gsub)2[y,1[x,"How much 1 would a 12 2 if a 12 could 2 1?"]]

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Answer 10

Kotlin, 59 bytes

{i,j->"How much $i would a $i$j $j if a $i$j could $j $i?"}

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Answer 11

PHP, 72 bytes

[,$a,$b]=$argv;echo"How much $a would a $a$b $b if a $a$b could $b $a?";

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Or:

PHP, 72 bytes

How much <?=![,$a,$b]=$argv,"$a would a $a$b $b if a $a$b could $b $a?";

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Input from command line, output to STDOUT.

Answer 12

JavaScript (V8), 72 bytes

(a,b)=>['How much',a,'would a',c=a+b,b,'if a',c,'could',b,a+'?'].join` `

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The variable assignment actually saves 0 bytes, but I figured I'd keep it in just to make this slightly unique.

Answer 13

Applesoft BASIC, 77 76 bytes

1INPUTA$,B$:?"How much "A$" would a "A$B$" "B$" if a "A$B$" could "B$" "A$"?

The above may not look like proper BASIC, but Applesoft allows for a few shortcuts when using the PRINT statement:

• Use of ? in place of PRINT when entering the statement
• Concatenation characters (either ; or +) may be omitted
• If the statement ends in a quoted string, the final quote may be omitted Thanks, Mark!

The line number is required, or the INPUT statement will cause an ?ILLEGAL DIRECT ERROR

Answer 14

33, 78 bytes

"How much "p1btpt" would a "ptpz2btp" "ptbtp" if a "ptpbtp" could "ptbtp" "ptp

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Takes the input as command-line arguments.

Bonus: 91 bytes

"How much "p1bztp" would a "p1bztp2bztp" "p2bztp" if a "p1bztp2bztp" could "p2bztp" "p1bztp

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Gives output resembling itself when given inputs 1bztp and 2bztp

Answer 15

05AB1E, 37 35 31 30 bytes

“Howƒ×1€Þ a ÿ0€¬ a ÿƒˆ01?“T$ú‡

Try it online or verify all test cases.

Or alternatively:

…a ÿªðì₁“Howƒ×2€Þ65€¬6ƒˆ52?“r‡

Try it online or verify all test cases.

-5 bytes thanks to @Grimy.

Takes a list of two items, wood as first value and chuck as second.

Explanation:

“Howƒ×1€Þ a ÿ0€¬ a ÿƒˆ01?“
        # Push dictionary string "How much1 would a ÿ0 if a ÿ could01?",
        # where the `ÿ` are automatically filled with the (implicit) input-list,
        # implicitly joined together to a single string
        #  i.e. ["wood","chuck"] → "How much1 would a woodchuck0 if a woodchuck could01?"
T       # Push 10
 $      # Push the input-list and 1
  ù     # Pad the strings in the input-list with this 1 amount of leading spaces
        #  ["wood","chuck"] → [" wood"," chuck"]
   ‡    # Transliterate the 10 ([1,0]) to these strings in the sentence
        #  → "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"
        # (after which the result is output implicitly)

…a ÿ    # Push dictionary string "a ÿ",
        # where the `ÿ` are automatically filled with the (implicit) input-list,
        # implicitly joined together to a single string
        #  i.e. ["wood","chuck"] → "a woodchuck"
    ª   # Append this to the (implicit) input-list: ["wood","chuck","a woodchuck"]
     ðì # Prepend a space before each string: [" wood"," chuck"," a woodchuck"]
₁       # Push builtin 256
“Howƒ×2€Þ65€¬6ƒˆ52?“
        # Push dictionary string "How much2 would65 if6 could52?"
r       # Reverse the values on the stack
 ‡      # Transliterate [2,5,6] to [" wood"," chuck"," a woodchuck"] in the string
        #  → "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"
        # (after which the result is output implicitly)

See this 05AB1E tip of mine (section How to use the dictionary?) to understand why “Howƒ×1€Þ a ÿ0€¬ a ÿƒˆ01?“ is "How much1 would a ÿ0 if a ÿ could01?" and “Howƒ×2€Þ65€¬6ƒˆ52?“ is "How much2 would65 if6 could52?".

Answer 16

C (clang), 78 72 bytes

#define f(a,b)"How much "a" would a "a b" "b" if a "a b" could "b" "a"?"

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• thanks to @jdt for 6 bytes saved.

Using stringification

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C (gcc), 85 bytes

f(a,b){printf("How much %s would a %s%s %s if a %s%s could %s %s?",a,a,b,b,a,b,b,a);}

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Thanks to @ErikF suggestion to use gcc, btw I've seen that clang accepts f(*a,*b){ // which is 2 Bytes expensive anyway

Saved 2 thanks to @ceilingcat.

Answer 17

PowerShell, 65 bytes

param($a,$b)"How much $a would a $a$b $b if a $a$b could $b $a`?"

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The only thing of note is that you have to escape the question mark because those can be valid parts of a PowerShell identifier

Answer 18

VBA, 107 bytes

Function q(a,b)
b=b&" "
c="ould "
q="How much "&a&" w"&c&"a "&a&b&b&"if a "&a&b&"c"&c&b&a&"?"
End Function

Should run as VBScript too, I used two shortcuts: "ould " is repeating and "chuck" never appears without an additional space.

Answer 19

C#, 165 148 133 bytes

class P{static void Main(string[]a){System.Console.Write("How much {0} would a {0}{1} {1} if a {0}{1} could {1} {0}?\n",a[0],a[1]);}}

Thanks to Andrew Baumher for telling me about interpolated strings!!
EDIT: Full class now added
EDIT: Thanks to Kenneth K. for giving me a few tips for shortening it
EDIT: Thanks to Andrew again for telling me that using interpolated string is actually longer in this scenario.

Answer 20

Haskell, 76 bytes

a?b=a++" "++b
a!b="How much"?a?"would a"?a++b?b?"if a"?a++b?"could"?b?a++"?"

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First try, so I hope I didn't break any rules.

Answer 21

Jelly, 39 bytes

ŒPKŒP“µkþ¿µ‘ị“þ>Æƈ)taJṖ;ạʂ\4S%dñl»Ỵ¤ż”?

A full program accepting a list of two strings.

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...Or (also a full program accepting a list of two strings)

⁽4ṀDBịs€2ṭ€€⁶“þ>Æƈ)taJṖ;ạʂ\4S%dñl»Ỵ¤ż”?

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Answer 22

Wolfram Language (Mathematica), 68 bytes

StringRiffle@{How,much,#,would,a,c=#<>#2,#2,if,a,c,could,#2,#<>"?"}&

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Answer 23

Japt -S, 44 39 bytes

[`How Û2`U`Ùd a`N=¬V`if a`N`Öd`VU+'?]

Try it

Answer 24

Python 3, 80 bytes

lambda n:'How much {0} would a {0}{1} {1} if a {0}{1} could {1} {0}?'.format(*n)

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when in rome, use str format.

Edited using squid's trick.

Answer 25

C# (Visual C# Interactive Compiler), 66 65 bytes

x=>y=>$"How much {x} would a {x+y} {y} if a {x+y} could {y} {x}?"

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same as everyone else, except C#. -1 byte by using currying strat a=>b=>c instead of (a,b)=>c

Answer 26

R, 95 bytes

function(a,b)cat("How much ",a," would a ",a,b," ",b," if a ",a,b," could ",b," ",a,"?",sep='')

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Answer 27

PHP, 61 bytes

<?=strtr('How much 1 would a 12 2 if a 12 could 2 1?',$argv);

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Taking advantage of PHP's strtr array replacement mode. In strtr, when second parameter is an array, it replaces array keys with the corresponding value for that key.

PHP's $argv index/key 0 is always filled by PHP and starting from index 1, command line arguments are put in it. So I pass the two words as command arguments which will be placed at index 1 and 2 in $argv and then the 1s and 2s in the string will be replaced by those values.

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PHP (7.4), 62 bytes

fn($a)=>strtr('How much 0 would a 01 1 if a 01 could 1 0?',$a)

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PHP (7.4), 63 bytes

fn($a,$b)=>"How much $a would a $a$b $b if a $a$b could $b $a?"

Try it online!

Answer 28

Uiua, 52 50 bytes

$"How much _ would a __ _ if a _ could _ _?"⊃∩.⊃⊂:

Try it: Uiua pad

Explanation: Each _ in the $"..." string is replaced with a value from the stack. ⊃∩.⊃⊂: is used to put the strings on the stack in the proper order:

⊃∩.⊃⊂: is a fork that does three things:

1. ∩. pushes each string twice, filling the first four slots
2. ⊂ joins the two strings, filling the next slot
3. : flips the two, filling the last two slots.

Answer 29

APL (Dyalog Unicode), 56 59 bytes

{∊'How much '⍺' would a '⍺⍵' '⍵' if a '⍺⍵' could '⍵' '⍺'?'}

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Pretty straightforward dfn. Saves a byte by cutting ∊ if we're allowed to return an array of strings instead of a single string.

3 bytes added because I'd forgotten to add the question mark.

Answer 30

Jelly, 41 37 bytes

⁾be,y“Ø[gœıJ9°m.OṚuHlh3Ƥ⁾$ɲ0øḲʂṇHẎṆȥ»

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A full program taking a pair of strings as its argument and printing the processed string. A monadic link could be formed by adding a F to the end (thanks to @JonathanAllan for pointing this out).

I’ve now switched to using "b" and "e" as placeholders, inspired by @dzaima’s SOGL answer so be sure to upvote that one too! This does mean that the first word can’t include the letter e.