Thotpatrol, 907 bytes
📡JACKING IN📡
💦DM💦 THAUGHTY ALLIE
💦DM💦 THAUGHTY LAURA
💦DM💦 THOTTY KATY
💦DM💦 THOTTY MARINA
💦DM💦 THAUGHTY KATE
ALLIE 🍑📧 ©ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXZY©
KATY 🍑📧 ™0™
MARINA 🍑📧 ™0™
❤PRIME ASSETS❤ MARINA 🤛 ™25™
LAURA 🍑📧 ©©
KATY 🍑📧 ™0™
❤PRIME ASSETS❤ KATY 🤛 ™25™
😎BRIEF😎 KATY 👈 MARINA
KATE 🍑📧 ALLIE 🔎 MARINA
LAURA 🍑📧 LAURA REDACTED KATE
🔇DEBRIEF🔇
😎BRIEF😎 KATY 🤜 MARINA
KATE 🍑📧 ALLIE 🔎 KATY
LAURA 🍑📧 LAURA REDACTED KATE
🔇DEBRIEF🔇
KATY 🍑📧 KATY 👏 ™1™
🎧INTERCEPT MALIGNANT COMMUNICATIONS🎧
🕵 🍑📧 LAURA REDACTED ©
©
MARINA 🍑📧 MARINA 👏 ™1™
🎧INTERCEPT MALIGNANT COMMUNICATIONS🎧
NAUGHTY THAUGHTY ALLIE
NAUGHTY THOTTY KATY
NAUGHTY THAUGHTY KATE
NAUGHTY THOTTY MARINA
🇺🇸REPORT UNPATRIOTIC ACTIVITY🇺🇸
I challenge others to optimize this further. Thotpatrol is not aan efficiency-friendly language.
Link to interpreter: https://github.com/MindyGalveston/thotpatrol-