5 Removed commas for 20 bytes. Added link to try it online now that I know about Tio Nexus.
source | link

Taxi, 1,482 1,290 1,063 1,029 1,029009 bytes

I've never written a program in Taxi before and I'm a novice in programming for general, so there are probably better ways to go about this. I've checked for errors and managed to golf it a bit by trying different routes that have the same result. I welcome any and all revision.I've never written a program in Taxi before and I'm a novice in programming for general, so there are probably better ways to go about this. I've checked for errors and managed to golf it a bit by trying different routes that have the same result. I welcome any and all revision.

Go to Post Office:w 1 l, 1 r, 1 l.Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.Go to The Babelfishery:s 1 l, 1 r.Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.2 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 l, 1 l, 1 l, 2 l.Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.Go to Divide and Conquer:e 1 l, 2 r, 3 r, 2 r, 1 r.Pickup a passenger going to Cyclone.Go to Cyclone:e 1 l, 1 l, 2 l.Pickup a passenger going to Trunkers.Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.Go to Trunkers:s 1 l.Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.Go to Equal's Corner:w 1 l.Switch to plan "b" if no one is waiting.Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.Go to Knots Landing:n 4 r, 1 r, 2 r, 1 l.[a]Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.Go to The Babelfishery:w 1 l.Pickup a passenger going to Post Office.Go to Post Office:n 1 l, 1 r.[b]0 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 r.Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.Go to Knots Landing:w 1 r, 2 r, 1 r, 2 l, 5 r.Switch to plan "a".

Try it online!

You're right, that's awful to read without line breaks. Here's a formatted version:

Go to Post Office:w 1 l, 1 r, 1 l.
Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.
Go to The Babelfishery:s 1 l, 1 r.
Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.
2 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.
Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 l, 1 l, 1 l, 2 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.
Go to Divide and Conquer:e 1 l, 2 r, 3 r, 2 r, 1 r.
Pickup a passenger going to Cyclone.
Go to Cyclone:e 1 l, 1 l, 2 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Trunkers.
Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.
Go to Trunkers:s 1 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.
Go to Equal's Corner:w 1 l.
Switch to plan "b" if no one is waiting.
Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.
Go to Knots Landing:n 4 r, 1 r, 2 r, 1 l.
[a]
Pickup[a]Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.
Go to The Babelfishery:w 1 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Post Office.
Go to Post Office:n 1 l, 1 r.
[b]
0[b]0 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.
Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 r.
Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.
Go to Knots Landing:w 1 r, 2 r, 1 r, 2 l, 5 r.
Switch to plan "a".

Taxi, 1,482 1,290 1,063 1,029 bytes

I've never written a program in Taxi before and I'm a novice in programming for general, so there are probably better ways to go about this. I've checked for errors and managed to golf it a bit by trying different routes that have the same result. I welcome any and all revision.

Go to Post Office:w 1 l, 1 r, 1 l.Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.Go to The Babelfishery:s 1 l, 1 r.Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.2 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 l, 1 l, 1 l, 2 l.Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.Go to Divide and Conquer:e 1 l, 2 r, 3 r, 2 r, 1 r.Pickup a passenger going to Cyclone.Go to Cyclone:e 1 l, 1 l, 2 l.Pickup a passenger going to Trunkers.Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.Go to Trunkers:s 1 l.Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.Go to Equal's Corner:w 1 l.Switch to plan "b" if no one is waiting.Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.Go to Knots Landing:n 4 r, 1 r, 2 r, 1 l.[a]Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.Go to The Babelfishery:w 1 l.Pickup a passenger going to Post Office.Go to Post Office:n 1 l, 1 r.[b]0 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 r.Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.Go to Knots Landing:w 1 r, 2 r, 1 r, 2 l, 5 r.Switch to plan "a".

You're right, that's awful to read without line breaks. Here's a formatted version:

Go to Post Office:w 1 l, 1 r, 1 l.
Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.
Go to The Babelfishery:s 1 l, 1 r.
Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.
2 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.
Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 l, 1 l, 1 l, 2 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.
Go to Divide and Conquer:e 1 l, 2 r, 3 r, 2 r, 1 r.
Pickup a passenger going to Cyclone.
Go to Cyclone:e 1 l, 1 l, 2 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Trunkers.
Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.
Go to Trunkers:s 1 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.
Go to Equal's Corner:w 1 l.
Switch to plan "b" if no one is waiting.
Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.
Go to Knots Landing:n 4 r, 1 r, 2 r, 1 l.
[a]
Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.
Go to The Babelfishery:w 1 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Post Office.
Go to Post Office:n 1 l, 1 r.
[b]
0 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.
Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 r.
Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.
Go to Knots Landing:w 1 r, 2 r, 1 r, 2 l, 5 r.
Switch to plan "a".

Taxi, 1,482 1,290 1,063 1,029 1,009 bytes

I've never written a program in Taxi before and I'm a novice in programming for general, so there are probably better ways to go about this. I've checked for errors and managed to golf it a bit by trying different routes that have the same result. I welcome any and all revision.

Go to Post Office:w 1 l 1 r 1 l.Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.Go to The Babelfishery:s 1 l 1 r.Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.2 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 l 1 l 1 l 2 l.Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.Go to Divide and Conquer:e 1 l 2 r 3 r 2 r 1 r.Pickup a passenger going to Cyclone.Go to Cyclone:e 1 l 1 l 2 l.Pickup a passenger going to Trunkers.Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.Go to Trunkers:s 1 l.Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.Go to Equal's Corner:w 1 l.Switch to plan "b" if no one is waiting.Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.Go to Knots Landing:n 4 r 1 r 2 r 1 l.[a]Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.Go to The Babelfishery:w 1 l.Pickup a passenger going to Post Office.Go to Post Office:n 1 l 1 r.[b]0 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 r.Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.Go to Knots Landing:w 1 r 2 r 1 r 2 l 5 r.Switch to plan "a".

Try it online!

You're right, that's awful to read without line breaks. Here's a formatted version:

Go to Post Office:w 1 l 1 r 1 l.
Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.
Go to The Babelfishery:s 1 l 1 r.
Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.
2 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.
Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 l 1 l 1 l 2 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.
Go to Divide and Conquer:e 1 l 2 r 3 r 2 r 1 r.
Pickup a passenger going to Cyclone.
Go to Cyclone:e 1 l 1 l 2 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Trunkers.
Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.
Go to Trunkers:s 1 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.
Go to Equal's Corner:w 1 l.
Switch to plan "b" if no one is waiting.
Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.
Go to Knots Landing:n 4 r 1 r 2 r 1 l.
[a]Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.
Go to The Babelfishery:w 1 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Post Office.
Go to Post Office:n 1 l 1 r.
[b]0 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.
Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 r.
Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.
Go to Knots Landing:w 1 r 2 r 1 r 2 l 5 r.
Switch to plan "a".
4 Removed the return to the Taxi Garage
source | link

Taxi, 1,482 1,290 1,063 1,063029 bytes

Go to Post Office:w 1 l, 1 r, 1 l.Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.Go to The Babelfishery:s 1 l, 1 r.Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.2 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 l, 1 l, 1 l, 2 l.Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.Go to Divide and Conquer:e 1 l, 2 r, 3 r, 2 r, 1 r.Pickup a passenger going to Cyclone.Go to Cyclone:e 1 l, 1 l, 2 l.Pickup a passenger going to Trunkers.Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.Go to Trunkers:s 1 l.Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.Go to Equal's Corner:w 1 l.Switch to plan "b" if no one is waiting.Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.Go to Knots Landing:n 4 r, 1 r, 2 r, 1 l.[a]Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.Go to The Babelfishery:w 1 l.Pickup a passenger going to Post Office.Go to Post Office:n 1 l, 1 r.Go to Taxi Garage:n 1 r, 1 l, 1 r.[b]0 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 r.Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.Go to Knots Landing:w 1 r, 2 r, 1 r, 2 l, 5 r.Switch to plan "a".
Go to Post Office:w 1 l, 1 r, 1 l.
Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.
Go to The Babelfishery:s 1 l, 1 r.
Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.
2 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.
Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 l, 1 l, 1 l, 2 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.
Go to Divide and Conquer:e 1 l, 2 r, 3 r, 2 r, 1 r.
Pickup a passenger going to Cyclone.
Go to Cyclone:e 1 l, 1 l, 2 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Trunkers.
Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.
Go to Trunkers:s 1 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.
Go to Equal's Corner:w 1 l.
Switch to plan "b" if no one is waiting.
Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.
Go to Knots Landing:n 4 r, 1 r, 2 r, 1 l.
[a]
Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.
Go to The Babelfishery:w 1 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Post Office.
Go to Post Office:n 1 l, 1 r.
Go to Taxi Garage:n 1 r, 1 l, 1 r.
[b]
0 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.
Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 r.
Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.
Go to Knots Landing:w 1 r, 2 r, 1 r, 2 l, 5 r.
Switch to plan "a".
Go to Post Office to pick up the stdin value in a string format.
Go to The Babelfishery to convert the string to a number.
Go to Starchild Numerology to pickup the numerical input 2.
Go to Divide and Conquer to divide the two passengers (stdin & 2).
Go to Cyclone to create a copy of the result.
Go to Trunkers to truncate the original to an integer.
Go to Equal's Corner to see if the two passengers are the same.
Equal's Corner returns the first passenger if they're the same (no .5 removal so the stdin was even) or nothing if they're not.
If nothing was returned, it was odd, so go pick up a 0 from Starchild Numerology.
Go to Knots Landing to convert any 0s to 1s and all other numbers to 0s.
Go to The Babelfishery to convert the passenger (either a 1 or 0 at this point) to a string.
Go to Post Office to print that string.
GoTry toand Taxifail Garageto go to terminateStarchild Numerology because the directions are wrong so the program terminates.

Not going back to the Taxi Garage causes output to STDERR but I'm fine with that.

Taxi, 1,482 1,290 1,063 bytes

Go to Post Office:w 1 l, 1 r, 1 l.Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.Go to The Babelfishery:s 1 l, 1 r.Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.2 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 l, 1 l, 1 l, 2 l.Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.Go to Divide and Conquer:e 1 l, 2 r, 3 r, 2 r, 1 r.Pickup a passenger going to Cyclone.Go to Cyclone:e 1 l, 1 l, 2 l.Pickup a passenger going to Trunkers.Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.Go to Trunkers:s 1 l.Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.Go to Equal's Corner:w 1 l.Switch to plan "b" if no one is waiting.Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.Go to Knots Landing:n 4 r, 1 r, 2 r, 1 l.[a]Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.Go to The Babelfishery:w 1 l.Pickup a passenger going to Post Office.Go to Post Office:n 1 l, 1 r.Go to Taxi Garage:n 1 r, 1 l, 1 r.[b]0 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 r.Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.Go to Knots Landing:w 1 r, 2 r, 1 r, 2 l, 5 r.Switch to plan "a".
Go to Post Office:w 1 l, 1 r, 1 l.
Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.
Go to The Babelfishery:s 1 l, 1 r.
Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.
2 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.
Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 l, 1 l, 1 l, 2 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.
Go to Divide and Conquer:e 1 l, 2 r, 3 r, 2 r, 1 r.
Pickup a passenger going to Cyclone.
Go to Cyclone:e 1 l, 1 l, 2 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Trunkers.
Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.
Go to Trunkers:s 1 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.
Go to Equal's Corner:w 1 l.
Switch to plan "b" if no one is waiting.
Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.
Go to Knots Landing:n 4 r, 1 r, 2 r, 1 l.
[a]
Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.
Go to The Babelfishery:w 1 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Post Office.
Go to Post Office:n 1 l, 1 r.
Go to Taxi Garage:n 1 r, 1 l, 1 r.
[b]
0 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.
Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 r.
Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.
Go to Knots Landing:w 1 r, 2 r, 1 r, 2 l, 5 r.
Switch to plan "a".
Go to Post Office to pick up the stdin value in a string format.
Go to The Babelfishery to convert the string to a number.
Go to Starchild Numerology to pickup the numerical input 2.
Go to Divide and Conquer to divide the two passengers (stdin & 2).
Go to Cyclone to create a copy of the result.
Go to Trunkers to truncate the original to an integer.
Go to Equal's Corner to see if the two passengers are the same.
Equal's Corner returns the first passenger if they're the same (no .5 removal so the stdin was even) or nothing if they're not.
If nothing was returned, it was odd, so go pick up a 0 from Starchild Numerology.
Go to Knots Landing to convert any 0s to 1s and all other numbers to 0s.
Go to The Babelfishery to convert the passenger (either a 1 or 0 at this point) to a string.
Go to Post Office to print that string.
Go to Taxi Garage to terminate the program.

Taxi, 1,482 1,290 1,063 1,029 bytes

Go to Post Office:w 1 l, 1 r, 1 l.Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.Go to The Babelfishery:s 1 l, 1 r.Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.2 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 l, 1 l, 1 l, 2 l.Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.Go to Divide and Conquer:e 1 l, 2 r, 3 r, 2 r, 1 r.Pickup a passenger going to Cyclone.Go to Cyclone:e 1 l, 1 l, 2 l.Pickup a passenger going to Trunkers.Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.Go to Trunkers:s 1 l.Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.Go to Equal's Corner:w 1 l.Switch to plan "b" if no one is waiting.Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.Go to Knots Landing:n 4 r, 1 r, 2 r, 1 l.[a]Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.Go to The Babelfishery:w 1 l.Pickup a passenger going to Post Office.Go to Post Office:n 1 l, 1 r.[b]0 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 r.Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.Go to Knots Landing:w 1 r, 2 r, 1 r, 2 l, 5 r.Switch to plan "a".
Go to Post Office:w 1 l, 1 r, 1 l.
Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.
Go to The Babelfishery:s 1 l, 1 r.
Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.
2 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.
Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 l, 1 l, 1 l, 2 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.
Go to Divide and Conquer:e 1 l, 2 r, 3 r, 2 r, 1 r.
Pickup a passenger going to Cyclone.
Go to Cyclone:e 1 l, 1 l, 2 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Trunkers.
Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.
Go to Trunkers:s 1 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.
Go to Equal's Corner:w 1 l.
Switch to plan "b" if no one is waiting.
Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.
Go to Knots Landing:n 4 r, 1 r, 2 r, 1 l.
[a]
Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.
Go to The Babelfishery:w 1 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Post Office.
Go to Post Office:n 1 l, 1 r.
[b]
0 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.
Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 r.
Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.
Go to Knots Landing:w 1 r, 2 r, 1 r, 2 l, 5 r.
Switch to plan "a".
Go to Post Office to pick up the stdin value in a string format.
Go to The Babelfishery to convert the string to a number.
Go to Starchild Numerology to pickup the numerical input 2.
Go to Divide and Conquer to divide the two passengers (stdin & 2).
Go to Cyclone to create a copy of the result.
Go to Trunkers to truncate the original to an integer.
Go to Equal's Corner to see if the two passengers are the same.
Equal's Corner returns the first passenger if they're the same (no .5 removal so the stdin was even) or nothing if they're not.
If nothing was returned, it was odd, so go pick up a 0 from Starchild Numerology.
Go to Knots Landing to convert any 0s to 1s and all other numbers to 0s.
Go to The Babelfishery to convert the passenger (either a 1 or 0 at this point) to a string.
Go to Post Office to print that string.
Try and fail to go to Starchild Numerology because the directions are wrong so the program terminates.

Not going back to the Taxi Garage causes output to STDERR but I'm fine with that.

3 Learned how to abbreviate directions.
source | link

Taxi, 1,482 1,290 1,290063 bytes

Go to Post Office:w west1 1stl, left1 r, 1st1 rightl.Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.Go to The Babelfishery:s 1 l, 1st1 leftr.Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.2 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 l, 1 l, 1 l, 2 l.Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.Go to Divide and Conquer:e 1 l, 2 r, 3 r, 2 r, 1 r.Pickup a passenger going to Cyclone.Go to Cyclone:e 1 l, 1 l, 2 l.Pickup a passenger going to Trunkers.Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.Go to Trunkers:s 1 l.Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.Go to Equal's Corner:w 1 l.Switch to plan "b" if no one is waiting.Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.Go to Knots Landing:n 4 r, 1 r, 2 r, 1 l.[a]Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.Go to The Babelfishery:w 1 l.Pickup a passenger going to Post Office.Go to Post Office:n 1 l, 1 r.Go to Taxi Garage:n 1 r, 1 l, 1 r.[b]0 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 r.Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.Go to Knots Landing:w 1 r, 2 r, 1 r, 2 l, 5 r.Switch to plan "a".

You're right, that's awful to read without line breaks. Here's a formatted version:

Go to Post Office:w 1 l, 1 r, 1 l.
Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.
Go to The Babelfishery: souths 1st1 leftl, 1st1 rightr.
Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.
2 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.
Go to Starchild Numerology:n north1 1stl, left1 l, 1st1 leftl, 2nd2 leftl.
Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.
Go to Divide and Conquer: easte 1st1 leftl, 2nd2 rightr, 3rd3 rightr, 2nd2 rightr, 1st1 rightr.
Pickup a passenger going to Cyclone.
Go to Cyclone: easte 1st1 leftl, 1st1 leftl, 2nd2 leftl.
Pickup a passenger going to Trunkers.
Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.
Go to Trunkers: souths 1st1 leftl.
Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.
Go to Equal's Corner: westw 1st1 leftl.
Switch to plan "b" if no one is waiting.
Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.
[a]
Go to Knots Landing: northn 4th4 rightr, 1st1 rightr, 2nd2 rightr, 1st1 leftl.
[a]
Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.
Go to The Babelfishery: westw 1st1 leftl.
Pickup a passenger going to Post Office.
Go to Post Office: northn 1st1 leftl, 1st1 rightr.
Go to Taxi Garage: northn 1st1 rightr, 1st1 leftl, 1st1 rightr.
[b]
0 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.
Go to Starchild Numerology: northn 1st1 rightr.
Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.
Go to Equal'sKnots CornerLanding:w west1 1str, left2 r, 1 r, 2 l, 5 r.
Switch to plan "a".

Taxi, 1,482 1,290 bytes

Go to Post Office: west 1st left, 1st right, 1st left.
Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.
Go to The Babelfishery: south 1st left, 1st right.
Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.
2 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.
Go to Starchild Numerology: north 1st left, 1st left, 2nd left.
Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.
Go to Divide and Conquer: east 1st left, 2nd right, 3rd right, 2nd right, 1st right.
Pickup a passenger going to Cyclone.
Go to Cyclone: east 1st left, 1st left, 2nd left.
Pickup a passenger going to Trunkers.
Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.
Go to Trunkers: south 1st left.
Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.
Go to Equal's Corner: west 1st left.
Switch to plan "b" if no one is waiting.
Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.
[a]
Go to Knots Landing: north 4th right, 1st right, 2nd right, 1st left.
Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.
Go to The Babelfishery: west 1st left.
Pickup a passenger going to Post Office.
Go to Post Office: north 1st left, 1st right.
Go to Taxi Garage: north 1st right, 1st left, 1st right.
[b]
0 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.
Go to Starchild Numerology: north 1st right.
Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.
Go to Equal's Corner: west 1st left.
Switch to plan "a".

Taxi, 1,482 1,290 1,063 bytes

Go to Post Office:w 1 l, 1 r, 1 l.Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.Go to The Babelfishery:s 1 l, 1 r.Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.2 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 l, 1 l, 1 l, 2 l.Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.Go to Divide and Conquer:e 1 l, 2 r, 3 r, 2 r, 1 r.Pickup a passenger going to Cyclone.Go to Cyclone:e 1 l, 1 l, 2 l.Pickup a passenger going to Trunkers.Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.Go to Trunkers:s 1 l.Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.Go to Equal's Corner:w 1 l.Switch to plan "b" if no one is waiting.Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.Go to Knots Landing:n 4 r, 1 r, 2 r, 1 l.[a]Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.Go to The Babelfishery:w 1 l.Pickup a passenger going to Post Office.Go to Post Office:n 1 l, 1 r.Go to Taxi Garage:n 1 r, 1 l, 1 r.[b]0 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 r.Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.Go to Knots Landing:w 1 r, 2 r, 1 r, 2 l, 5 r.Switch to plan "a".

You're right, that's awful to read without line breaks. Here's a formatted version:

Go to Post Office:w 1 l, 1 r, 1 l.
Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.
Go to The Babelfishery:s 1 l, 1 r.
Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.
2 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.
Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 l, 1 l, 1 l, 2 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Divide and Conquer.
Go to Divide and Conquer:e 1 l, 2 r, 3 r, 2 r, 1 r.
Pickup a passenger going to Cyclone.
Go to Cyclone:e 1 l, 1 l, 2 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Trunkers.
Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.
Go to Trunkers:s 1 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Equal's Corner.
Go to Equal's Corner:w 1 l.
Switch to plan "b" if no one is waiting.
Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.
Go to Knots Landing:n 4 r, 1 r, 2 r, 1 l.
[a]
Pickup a passenger going to The Babelfishery.
Go to The Babelfishery:w 1 l.
Pickup a passenger going to Post Office.
Go to Post Office:n 1 l, 1 r.
Go to Taxi Garage:n 1 r, 1 l, 1 r.
[b]
0 is waiting at Starchild Numerology.
Go to Starchild Numerology:n 1 r.
Pickup a passenger going to Knots Landing.
Go to Knots Landing:w 1 r, 2 r, 1 r, 2 l, 5 r.
Switch to plan "a".
2 Switched from Magic Eight to Equal's Corner for comparison. Saved several stops. Also switched around the plan break points.
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