this is a For-Fun challenge. The challenge is pretty simple, and one that for once, I don't think golfscript or anything similar has a chance to win!
The goal is simple, write code in whatever language you want, that accomplishes any task of your choosing, but can also be "read" fairly easily that explains why the language is better than any other language.
Winner will be whoever has the most up-votes, please up-vote based on humor, difficulty of task involved that is solved, and quality of the answer.
most importantly, have fun!
(if your interpretation is difficult to understand, please provide a translation of how it should be read!)