We're no strangers to code golf, you know the rules, and so do I

Question

Write the shortest program that prints the entire lyrics of "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley.

Rules:

• Must output the lyrics exactly as they appear in the above pastebin. Here's the raw dump: http://pastebin.com/raw.php?i=wwvdjvEj
• Cannot rely on any external resources - all lyrics must be generated by / embedded in code.
• No use of existing compression algorithms (e.g. gzip / bzip2) unless you include the full algorithm in your code.
• Use any language, shortest code wins.

Update, 1st June 2012:
For solutions containing non-ASCII text, the size of your solution will be counted in bytes, based on UTF-8 encoding. If you use codepoints that cannot be encoded in UTF-8, your solution will not be judged as valid.

Update, 7th June 2012:
Thank you all for your awesome solutions! I'll be accepting the shortest answer tomorrow afternoon. Right now, Ed H.'s 554-character solution is winning, so get cracking on some improvements if you want to beat him! :)

Answer 1

Ruby 576 557 556 (552) chars && PHP 543 chars

Another search-and-replace solution. Note that this form of solution is essentially a Grammar-based Compression Code http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grammar-based_code Check out http://www.cs.washington.edu/education/courses/csep590a/07au/lectures/lecture05small.pdf for a simple to understand compression example.

I've written the substitution rules so that the starting character for each substitution is computed (they are in sequential ASCII order); it need not be present in the transition data.

i=44
s="We; n7trangMsL8loT63Ke rules5s8d8I
AJull commit4nt'sChatFKink: of6CHldn'tRetKisJrom<ny@Ruy-/A= if?<sk 42DS'tLE 4?;Lo8bli=L7ee..
O,R1)O,R001)/-.."
"
I justCannaLE?2Gotta >u=Msta=.|
Ng1Nlet? downNrun<rH=5desMt?N>cryNsayRoodbyeNtE< lie5hurt?|

We'T3n each@Jor s8lSg6r hear9<ch: but6;Lo7hyL7BInsideCe both3Cha9Ro: S
We3KeRa45we;QplB|1)O)NgiT, nPgiT
(G|iT? up| howFJeel:
| know|me|<= |
YH|8s|o |t's been|ing|'re| a|nd|make? | yH| othM|A|ay it
| w|D|ell| I'm|G|ou|I| f|Lh| t|er|
NP|
(Ooh|eTrQ|RSna | g|on|ve".scan(/[^|]+/){s.gsub!((i+=1).chr,$&)}
puts s

implementation notes

• The above solution is 556 chars long, but scores 552 with the removal of newlines from source code. It is slightly better scoring than the original 556 char solution I had that scored 554.
• I use "known" instead of "know"; this makes the verse repetition identical and should make the compression better
• I originally optimized the rules by repeatedly searching for the substitution that would yield the most decrease in current code size. However, I found that RiderOfGiraffe's substitution rules were (slightly) better than mine, so I'm now using a modified version of his rules.
• I spent time reordering the rules so that a single substitution pass can decompress everything.
• Due to the computed initial character in the substitution rules, my rule list has a rule for every character in a contiguous ASCII range. I found that having some "dummy" substitution rules was better for code size than having all real rules and coding a final text fixup substitution.
• This example is small enough that you probably could successfully write a program to find the optimal (least total cost) set of rules. I would not expect doing this would yield size reductions of more than a few bytes.

older implementation

This older implementation has 576 characters and started with substitution rules from ugoren's bash/sed implementation. Ignoring the substitution variable renaming, my first 28 substitutions are exactly the same as those performed in ugoren's program. I added a few more to lower the overall byte count. This is possible because my rules are more efficiently represented than those in ugoren's implementation.

i=44
puts"WeM noHtraLersB loJ;6 C rules=so do $
& full commitment'sGhat<thinkDof;Gouldn'tKet this fromFny oCrKuy.
-&E if9ask me1~on't @ me:MBo bliEBHee//

3300-.//|
We'J6n each oCr forHo loL;r hear2FchDbut;MBoHhyBH7$nsideGe both6Gha2ADon
We6 CKame=weM>pl7|
$ justGanna @:1#otta 8uEerstaE/|
5?9up5let9down5runFrouE=desert:58cry5sayAodbye5@F lie=hurt:|(Ooh)5?, nI>?
(#4| how<feeliL
|t's been|(Ooh,K4|iJ9up)
|
NI>| know|ay it
|make9|: | you|
You| $'m |FE |Anna |giJ|tell|Ko| to|the|iL |nd| a| w| s|eJr|ve| g|ng|'re".split("|").inject{|m,o|m.gsub((i+=1).chr,o)}.tr('&~#$',"ADGI")

I did not try optimizing the substitution rules in this one.

contest notes

The search-and-replace decompression scheme works well for this contest because most languages have pre-built routines that can do this. With such a small amount of text to be generated, complex decompression schemes do not seem to be feasible winners.

I've used only ASCII text and also avoided using unprintable ASCII characters. With these restrictions, each character in your code can only represent up to a maximum of 6.6 bits of information; this is very different than to real compression techniques where you use all 8 bits. In some sense, it is not "fair" to compare to gzip/bzip2 code size because those algorithms will use all 8 bits. A fancier decompression algorithm may be possible if you can include traditionally unprintable ASCII in your strings AND each unprintable character is still written in your code as a single byte.

PHP Solution

<?=str_replace(range('-',T),split(q,"
I justCannaLE?2Gotta >u=Msta=.q
Ng1Nlet? downNrun<rH=5desMt?N>cryNsayRoodbyeNtE< lie5hurt?q

We'T3n each@Jor s8lSg6r hear9<ch: but6;Lo7hyL7BInsideCe both3Cha9Ro: S
We3KeRa45we;QplBq1)O)NgiT, nPgiT
(GqiT? upq howFJeel:
q knowqmeq<= q
YHq8sqo qt's beenqingq'req aqndqmake? q yHq othMqAqay it
q wqDqellq I'mqGqouqIq fqLhq tqerq
NPq
(OohqeTrQqRSna q gqonqve"),"We; n7trangMsL8loT63Ke rules5s8d8I
AJull commit4nt'sChatFKink: of6CHldn'tRetKisJrom<ny@Ruy-/A= if?<sk 42DS'tLE 4?;Lo8bli=L7ee..
O,R1)O,R001)/-..");

The above solution takes the PHP from "a sad dude" and combines it with my substitution rules. The PHP answer turns out to have the shortest decompression code. See http://ideone.com/XoW5t

Answer 2

So instead of making the shortest possible code, I decided to try and make my code look as much like a song summary as possible. Thus 2015 characters. Fun with the preprocesser.

#define BEAT putchar('\n');
#define CH0RUS a
#define CHORUS a++;
#define CROON(x) printf("(%s)\n",x);
#define END }
#define ENDSONG return 0;}
#define NEVERGONNA(x) printf("Never gonna %s\n",x);
#define NEXTVERSE goto chorus;
#define REPEAT(x) for(int i=0; i<a; i++){
#define RICKROLL int a=0;int main(){
#define SING(x) puts(x);
#define VERSE if(0==a){goto verse1;}else if(1==a){goto verse2;}else{goto verse3;}
#define START goto verse1;
#include <stdio.h>

RICKROLL
  START
  chorus:
    REPEAT(CH0RUS)
    NEVERGONNA("give you up")
    NEVERGONNA("let you down")
    NEVERGONNA("run around and desert you")
    NEVERGONNA("make you cry")
    NEVERGONNA("say goodbye")
    NEVERGONNA("turn around and hurt you")
    BEAT
    END
    VERSE
  verse1:
    SING("We're no strangers to love")
    SING("You know the rules and so do I")
    SING("A full commitment's what I'm thinking of")
    SING("You wouldn't get this from any other guy")
    SING("I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling")
    SING("Gotta make you understand")
    BEAT
    CHORUS
    NEXTVERSE
  verse2:
    SING("We've known each other for so long")
    SING("Your heart's been aching but")
    SING("You're too shy to say it")
    SING("Inside we both know what's been going on")
    SING("We know the game and we're gonna play it")
    SING("And if you ask me how I'm feeling")
    SING("Don't tell me you're too blind to see")
    BEAT
    CHORUS
    NEXTVERSE
  verse3:
    CROON("Ooh, give you up")
    CROON("Ooh, give you up")
    CROON("Ooh")
    NEVERGONNA("give, never gonna give")
    CROON("Give you up")
    CROON("Ooh")
    NEVERGONNA("give, never gonna give")
    CROON("Give you up")
    BEAT
    SING("We've known each other for so long")
    SING("Your heart's been aching but")
    SING("You're too shy to say it")
    SING("Inside we both know what's been going on")
    SING("We know the game and we're gonna play it")
    SING("And if you ask me how I'm feeling")
    SING("Don't tell me you're too blind to see")
  ENDSONG

Answer 3

Perl, 724 714 883 bytes

So the change to the rules penalizing the use of Latin-1 kind of killed my solution. It's a different enough approach that I hate to just delete it, though, so here's a restricted version that only uses 7-bit ASCII, as per the new rules, at a huge increase in size.

sub d{($d=$d{$_})?d(@$d):print for@_}sub r{%d=map{chr,($d=pop)&&[$d,pop]}0..96,113..127;&d}r"We^P nEstraKersPElo~^_-SP< 5lesMsEdEI
A3ull commitment's#hat I'mPhink9 of^_#}ldn't^?/Phis3romVny %<r^?uy
I just#azP6UhS I'm3eH9
G%ta +JTerstaT^HX5^D    1^@^U^F^CXt^E^Y^X

We'~-; each %<r3or sEloK^_r <aL's=ee8ch9=ut^_^PPoEshyPE& it
Insi.#e=%h-S#hat's=een|9 on
We-SP<^?am7we^Px pl? it
ARif]Vsk me hS I'm3eH9
Don'tP6 me]^PPoEb*RtE1e^HX5^D   1^@^U^F^CXt^E^Y^X^HX5^D 1^@^U^F^CXt^E^Y^X

(Ooh,FB)
(Ooh,FB)
(Ooh)4, n^F
(GQB)
(Ooh)4, n^F
(GQB)

We'~-; each %<r3or sEloK^_r <aL's=ee8ch9=ut^_^PPoEshyPE& it
Insi.#e=%h-S#hat's=een|9 on
We-SP<^?am7we^Px pl? it

I just#azP6UhS I'm3eH9
G%ta +JTerstaT^HX5^D    1^@^U^F^CXt^E^Y^X^HX5^D 1^@^U^F^CXt^E^Y^X^HX5^D 1^@^U^F^CXt^E^Y^X
g evuoo^?nna{0z|000000xry q~_e}`0^N[
0 Z0a  ]dnwo T~it 00RVtrgnuU0le0Q^? o0]LpJ00yaamb ehnSekKiVnMelHurFZf k es0teedn20:>il000?sto0w 0}Y0!
+XXy}rB4Cu7*^ZhdUr'|&bdMT^[
U^^e^V^QC^W/X^R;^N^Ll0.^S^K^MV6^To ^G^\8ey^]r^Bc^A^O"=~/./gs

Of course the control characters are still mangled here, so you'll still want to use the base64-encoding:
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---

Because I think it should still be visible despite being DQ'd, here's the original solution:

sub d{($d=$d{$_})?d(@$d):print for@_}sub r{%d=map{chr,[pop,pop]}45..63,122..255;&d}r" ¯:ç5raâ08/þ; Ölesì|dçI
AÌull comm°6ntŒ3èhink1fÍýldn'tÿÙèhisÌromðny4ÿuy ju5Íaú=î9GÐ Ëäï0ï
'þœn ea}4Ìo|/â-aêÔ}ÜÚut.shy8ÎnsiÞÍeÚÐhœ3nü1n;ÿamÓwe¯ù plá
Aíifôðsk 6 9Don't= 6ô.bÕítçÏe
,ã2,ã2)Û,:õã¶Gé2)Û,:õã¶Gé
'þœ ea}4Ìo|/â-aêÔ}ÜÚut.shy8ÎnsiÞÍeÚÐhœ3nü1n;ÿamÓwe¯ù plá
 ju5Íaú=î9GÐ Ëäï0ï
g evuooÿnnaûúürþýyøeùö÷ N
õó òa dn ô ïíðwotrþit  oleôêuîéÿgnyalæpäedkaâiãòb teënØkurilðnìeeheÝtoesásw f ÑmÖñY
r'bdhÓÏÞÕ tñìïñåîÙëdÎñ× s'oüyrÁÅeyÄð(

åÞŸºrÔlñtieÈàŽý²Æ·Â­¬®Ë¹À±šßÊnuª¥Çcîµ€£©eW³¡«»¢ýÉŠ¿§ÛoOI
° I )ßee¶ rhm'Úat 
oèÜæçŒrÒÐtaÒèëo hcçseÌ
hz{àèreœn >?çèhÍemts 7~Üs<ol¯Ò"=~/./gs

The base64-encoding of the script:
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Answer 4

PHP 730 707 characters

<?$l=' you';$n='Never gonna';$z="give$l up";$m="
$n $z
$n let$l down
$n run around and desert$l
$n make$l cry
$n say goodbye
$n tell a lie and hurt$l

";$o="
We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but
You're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it
";$p="(Ooh, $z)";$r="($z)";$g=" how I'm feeling";$s="$n give, $n give";$t="I just wanna tell$l$g
Gotta make$l understand";echo"We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
$t
$m$o
And if$l ask me$g
Don't tell me$l're too blind to see
$m$m
$p
$p
(Ooh)
$s
$r
(Ooh)
$s
$r
$o
$t
$m$m$m";

Answer 5

Golfscript 708 702 699 691

"Never gonna ":g;
"I just wanna tell you how"" I'm feeling":i"
Gotta make you understand"++:j;
{n"give you up
let you down
run around and desert you
make you cry
say goodbye
tell a lie and hurt you"n/{n g@}%}:^;"

We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but
You're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it
":_;
"We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
"j
^
_
"And if you ask me how"i"
Don't tell me you're too blind to see"
^^
n
n
"(Ooh, give you up)
"."(Ooh)
"g"give, never gonna give
(Give you up)"++.n\_
j
^^^

Answer 6

C# 879 816 789 characters

First attempt at CodeGolf so definitely not a winner, pretty sure it is valid despite it's nastiness.

string e="N£give, n£give",f="(Give ! up)",g="(Ooh)",h=@"I just wanna tell ! how I'm feeling
Gotta make ! understand",i="(Ooh, give ! up)",j="N£",k=@"We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but
You're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it",l="",a=String.Join("\n"+j,l,"give ! up","let ! down","run around and desert !","make ! cry","say goodbye","tell a lie and hurt !"),b=String.Join("\n",@"We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy",h,a,l,k,@"And if ! ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me !'re too blind to see",a,a,l,i,i,g,e,f,g,e,f,l,k,l,h,a,a,a).Replace("!","you").Replace("£","ever gonna ");

Answer 7

Clojure

720 bytes / characters:

(Reproduced here with extra whitespace so you can see the formatting)

(let [r{\&" and "\Y"You"\0"\n"\1" you"\2" gonna"\3"give"\5" up"\6"ever"\F" how I'm feeling"\T" to"}
      s str 
      n"0N62 "
      c(s n"315"n"let1 down"n"run around&desert1"n"make1 cry"n"say goodbye"n"tell a lie&hurt10")
      p"0(Ooh, 315)"
      g"0(Give15)"
      q(s n "3, n62 3")
      o"0(Ooh)"
      w(s "0We've known each other for so long0Yr heart's been aching but0Y'reTo shyT say it0Inside we both know what's been going on0We know the game&we're2 play it0")
      u(s "I just wanna tell1F0Gotta make1 understand0")
      v"We're no strangersT love0Y know the rules&so do I0A full commitment's what I'm thinking of0Y wouldn't get this from any other guy0"
      R(s v u c w"And if1 ask meF0Don't tell me1'reTo blindT see0"c c p p o q g o q g\0 w\0 u c c c)]
  (apply s(map #(r% %)R)))      

Answer 8

Bash / Sed, 705 650 588 582 chars

Logic:
The basic idea is simple replacement. Instead of writing, for example, Never gonna give you up\nNever gonna let you down, I write Xgive you up\nXlet you down and replace all X with Never gonna.
This is achieved by running sed with a set of rules, in the form s/X/Never gonna /g.
Replacements can be nested. For example, Never gonna is common, but so is gonna in other contexts. So I can use two rules: s/Y/ gonna/g and s/X/NeverY/g.
When adding rules, parts of the song texts are replaced by single characters, so it gets shorter. The rules become longer, but if the string replaced is long and frequent, it's worth it.
The next step is to remove repetition from the sed commands themselves. The sequence s/X/something/g is quite repetitive.
To make it shorter, I change sed commands to look like Xsomething. Then I use sed to convert this into a normal sed command. The code sed 's#.#s/&/#;s#$#/g;# does it.
The final result is a sed command, whose arguments are generated by another sed command, in back-quotes.
You can find a more detailed explanation in this link.

Code:

sed "`sed 's#.#s/&/#;s#$#/g#'<<Q
LMWe'veKn each o!r for-o longPr hearHzchJbutP're2o-hy2-@Insidexe bothKxhaHCJonMWeK ! game+we'reZpl@
TMI justxanna _UFGotta QuXerstaXR
RM~Squp~letqdown~runzrouX+desertU~Qcry~sayCodbye~_z lie+hurtU
E(Ooh)~S, neverZSM(GV
F how=feelingM
Ht's been
%(Ooh, gV
Vivequp)M
~MNeverZ
K know
@ay itM
Qmakeq
qU 
U you
PMYou
= I'm 
+zX 
ZCnna 
Sgive
_tell
C go
2 to
!the
Jing 
Xnd
z a
x w
- s
M\n`"<<_
We're no-trangers2 lovePK ! rules+so do I
A full commitment'sxhat=thinkJofPxouldn't get this fromzny o!r guyT
LAX ifqask meFDon't _ meU're2o bliX2-eeRRMM%%EELTRR

Notes:
The decompression engine is just 40 characters long. The other 543 are the translation table and compressed text. bzip2 compresses the song to 500 bytes (without the engine, of course), so there must be room for improvement (though I don't see how I'd add Huffman encoding or something like this cheap enough).
<<Q (or <<_) is used to read until a given character. But the end of script (or backquote expression) is good enough. This sometimes causes a warning.

Older and simpler solution, 666 chars:

sed "
s/L/ MWe'veKn each other for so longMYour heart's been aching butMYou're too shy to say itMInside we bothK what's been going onMWeK the game+we'reZplay itM/;
s/T/MI just wanna tellU how I'm feelingMGotta makeU understandR/;
s/R/M ~giveU up~letU down~run around+desertU~makeU cry~say goodbye~tell a lie+hurtU/g;
s/E/(Ooh)~give, neverZgiveM(GV/g;
s/V/iveU up)M/g;
s/U/ you/g;
s/+/ and /g;
s/K/ know/g;
s/~/MNeverZ/g;
s/Z/ gonna /g;
s/M/\n/g
"<<Q
We're no strangers to love
YouK the rules+so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guyT
LAnd ifU ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell meU're too blind to seeRRM M(Ooh, gV(Ooh, gVEEL TRR

Answer 9

Scala, 613 bytes

print(("""We'r%e %n&o &strangers9 t&9lo#ve#4
You47 know7 [th[%rules0 aZndZ 0s&d&I
A full commitment's what1 I'm 1[ink=ing= of4 wouldn't get [is from any! o[er !guy>
I just wanna <tell<]- ]you-3 how1feel=
3Gotta _make]_uZerstaZ@>
.
Ne#r$./$ gonna /g2i#]up2$let]down$run arouZ0desert-$_cry$say goodbye$< a lie0hurt-@?

We'#7n each!for s&long4r hear;t's been ;ach= but4:'r%to&:shy9say8 it
8Insid%w%bo[7 wha;going on
We7 [%game0we're/play8?AZ if]ask me3Don't < me-:bliZ9see@@

5(Ooh, g2)
556(Ooh)$gi#, ne#r/gi#^
6(G2)^^?>@@
"""/:("!#$%&Z[]^_"++('-'to'@'))){(x,c)=>val y=x.split(c);y(0)+y(1)+y.drop(2).mkString(y(1))}

This is a text decompression algorithm, recursively applying the rule that ~stuff~ blah ~ ~ should be converted to stuff blah stuff stuff (i.e. the first time you see an unfamiliar symbol pair, it delimits what to copy; thereafter, you fill in the value when you see it).

Note: there may be an extra carriage return at the end, depending on how you count. If this is not permissible, you can drop the last one on the quote (saving one character) and change the split to split(" ",-1) (spending 3 characters), for 615 bytes.

Answer 10

JavaScript, 1428 1451 883^* characters

Definitely not the shortest solution, but here it goes.

d="(Give you up):(Ooh):(Ooh, give you up):A full commitment's what I'm thinking of:And if you ask me how I'm feeling:Don't tell me you're too blind to see:Gotta make you understand:I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling:Inside we both know what's been going on:Never gonna give you up:Never gonna give, never gonna give:Never gonna let you down:Never gonna make you cry:Never gonna run around and desert you:Never gonna say goodbye:Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you:We know the game and we're gonna play it:We're no strangers to love:We've know each other for so long:We've known each other for so long:You know the rules and so do I:You wouldn't get this from any other guy:Your heart's been aching but:You're too shy to say it:".split(/:/);"hk3l76o9bdcefojmn8g45o9bdcefo9bdcefo221a01a0oimn8go76o9bdcefo9bdcefo9bdcef".split("").map(function(i){return d[parseInt(i,25)]}).join("\n")

Solution logic is pretty simple:

d="dictionary:of:uniqe:lines".split("/:/");
"012345".split("").map(function(i){return d[parseInt(i,25)]}).join("\n")

^*Of course the solution becomes a lot shorter when taking unique lines instead of unique words.

Answer 11

Python (975 803 bytes)

Not the greatest - I (now) wish python did formatting expansions like so. Alas it doesn't.

Edit: Simulated expansion with alternate formatting syntax (sort of..)

print("""We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
{10}{8}
{11}

%s
{13}
And if you ask me{8}
Don't tell me you're too blind to see

%s
%s
{0}, {2})
{0}, {2})
{0})
{1}{12}
{9}
{0})
{1}{12}
{9}

{13}

{10}{8}
{11}

%s
%s
%s"""%tuple(['{1}{2}\n{1}{3}\n{1}{4}\n{1}{5}\n{1}{6}\n{1}{7}']*6)).format(*"(Ooh|Never gonna |give you up|let you down|run around and desert you|make you cry|say goodbye|tell a lie and hurt you\n| how I'm feeling|(Give you up)|I just wanna tell you|Gotta make you understand|give, never gonna give|We've known each other for so long\nYour heart's been aching but\nYou're too shy to say it\nInside we both know what's been going on\nWe know the game and we're gonna play it".split('|'))

Answer 12

Naive sh/echo - 810 bytes

#!/bin/sh
A="ever gonna"
D=" you"
B="ive$D up"
C="$A give"
echo "We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell$D how I'm feeling
Gotta make$D understand"
f(){
echo "
N$C$D up
N$A let$D down
N$A run around and desert$D
N$A make$D cry
N$A say goodbye
N$A tell a lie and hurt$D"
}
f
g(){
echo "
We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but
You're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it"
}
g
echo "And if$D ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me$D're too blind to see"
f
f
echo "
(Ooh, g$B)
(Ooh, g$B)
(Ooh)
N$C, n$C
(G$B)
(Ooh)
N$C, n$C
(G$B)"
g
echo
echo "I just wanna tell$D how I'm feeling
Gotta make$D understand"
f
f
f

Answer 13

JavaScript, 854 chars (added newlines for "readability")

var a="We're no strangers to love:You know the rules and so do I:A full commitment's what I'm thinking of:You wouldn't get this from any other guy:I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling:Gotta make you understand:Never gonna give you up:Never gonna let you down:Never gonna run around and desert you:Never gonna make you cry:Never gonna say goodbye:Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you:We've known each other for so long:Your heart's been aching but:You're too shy to say it:Inside we both know what's been going on:We know the game and we're gonna play it:And if you ask me how I'm feeling:Don't tell me you're too blind to see:6:7:8:9:10:11:6:7:8:9:10:11:(Ooh, give you up):31:(Ooh):Never gonna give, never gonna give:(Give you up):33:34:35:12:13:14:15:16:4:5:6:7:8:9:10:11:6:7:8:9:10:11:6:7:8:9:10:11".split(':'),
    i=0,x;
while(x=a[i++])console.log(a[x]||x)

Answer 14

Python, 597 589 bytes

It may be possible to squeeze out another couple of bytes:

d="""ellU wTay it
S otherRConna Qmake4 PveMndL aK'reJingHt's beenFo E gC
(OohB
Youz txKL q know9
N28 how I'm feelH
7iM4 up66)B)8giM, n2giM
(G5 you4
I justTannaxU47Gotta PuLerstaL03eMrQ2

We'M9n eachR for sElongzr hearFKchH butzJxoEshyxEsSInsideTe both9ThaFCoH on
We9xheCameqweJQplS1
8g68let4 down8runKrouLqdesert48Pcry8sayCoodbye8tUK lieqhurt40WeJ nEstrangersxEloMz9xhe rulesqsEdEI
A full commitment'sThat I'mxhinkH ofzTouldn'tCetxhis fromKnyRCuy31AL if4Ksk me7Don'txU me4JxoEbliLxEsee00
B,C6)B,C556)1300"""
for s in'UTSRQPMLKJHFECBzxq9876543210':a,b=d.split(s,1);d=b.replace(s,a)
print d

Answer 15

JavaScript 789 characters

My javascript (prints with "document.write()"):

eval('f="18927993248999".replace(/1/g,"Were no strangers to love4You6тe rules and so do I4A full commitmentжs what Iжm тinking of4You wouldnжt get тis from any oтer guy4ю8/g,"I just wanna tellйhow Iжm feeling4Gotta makeйunderstand44ю9/g,"Neverгgiveйupвгletйdownвгrun around and desert youвгmakeйcryвгsay goodbyeвгtell a lie and hurt you44ю2/g,"Weжve known each oтer for so long4Your heartжs been aching but4Youжre too shy to say it4Inside we boт6whatжs been going on4We6тe game and weжreгplay it4ю7/g,"And ifйask me how Iжm feeling4Donжt tell me youжre too blind to see44ю3/g,"ц, gяц, gяц)вгgive, neverгgive4(Gяц)вгgive, neverгgive4(Gя4 ют/g,"thюя/g,"iveйup)4юй/g," you юв/g,"4Neverю4/g,"</br>юц/g,"(Oohю6/g," know юг/g," gonna юж/g,"\'");document.write(f);'.replace(/ю/g,"\").replace(/"))

I changes some common words and phrases with cyrilic letters and then changed them back with the replace() function.

After I shorten the lyrics, I shortened my program with the same method, and execute the code with eval().

Answer 16

JavaScript, 590 588 bytes

f="WeP nTstrangersZTloMX^Zhe rules[sTdTIqA fuFcommitment'sEhat I'mZhinkQofXEouldn'tJetZhis from anyRguy{Sn}AH ifCask me_Don'tZeFmexPZoTbliHZTsee~~qU,J`)U,Jzz`)S}{~~~q|g`|letCdown|run arouH[desertx|Lcry|sayJoodbye|teFa lie[hurtx} eachRfor sTlongXr hearVachQbutXPZoTshyZTsKInsideEe both^EhaVgoQonqWe^ZheJame[weP]plK|qNeMr]{qI justEannaZellx_Gotta LuHerstaH~z`)U)|giM, neMr]giMq(GCyouq\n`iMCup_ how I'm feelingq^ know]Jonna [ aH Z tXqYouVt's been Uq(OohTo SqqWe'M^R other Qing P'reMveLmakeCKay itqJ gHndFll E wCx ";for(i in g="CEFHJKLMPQRSTUVXZ[]^_`qxz{|}~")e=f.split(g[i]),f=e.join(e.pop())

Depending slightly on the way the string is "printed".

https://gist.github.com/2864108

Answer 17

Whitespace - 33115 characters

Edit: StackExchange chomped my answer, here is the source: https://raw.github.com/gist/2852385/8d1989738d4f7c2d37ca3b51e416e6b0fbd94652/never_gonna.ws

Not great... I think I may be able to shrink it down a bit though.

Answer 18

n = "Never gonna"
y = "you"
c= ('Ooh','give','you','up')
def p(x=''):
    print x
def rit():
    p('%s give %s up\n%s let %s down\n%s run around and desert %s\n%s make %s cry\n%s say goodbye\n%s tell a lie and hurt %s' % (n,y,n,y,n,y,n,y,n,n,y))
def riff1():
    p("""I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand\n""")
def strofa2(n='n'):
    print """\nWe've know%s each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but
You're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it""" % n
p("""We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy""")
riff1()
rit()
strofa2()
p("""And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see\n""")
rit()
p()
rit()
p(2*("\n(%s, %s %s %s)" % c))
p("(%s)" % c[0])
p("%s give, %s give" % (n,n.lower()))
p("(Give %s %s)" % c[2:4])
p("(%s)" % c[0])
p("%s give, %s give" % (n,n.lower()))
p("(Give %s %s)" % c[2:4])
strofa2(n='')
p()
riff1()
rit()
p()
rit()
p()
rit()

Answer 19

Javascript 738 bytes (line breaks added for clarity) (looks like I only get second place in javascript)

g=this;
function r(s) { 
    return s.replace(/[A-Z0-9]/g, function(s){ 
       return g["A"+s]||s; 
     }) 
 }

eval(
    ";R\\n;Mever gonna ;PNM;QnM;S you;6S ;T know;Vgive;7tell;9You;1 and ;2e ;3t's been ;4 other ;5'r2too ;XPV6upRPlet6downRPrun around1desertSRPmake6cryRPsay goodbyeRP7 a lie1hurtSRR;ZWe'veTn each4for so longR9r hear3aching butRyou5shy to say itRInsid2w2bothT wha3going onRWeT th2game1we'r2gonna play it;BPV, QVR(Give6up)R;C(Ooh, V6up);E(Ooh);Fhow I'm feeling;HI just wanna 76;JAnd if6ask m2;KDon't 7 meS5blind to seeR;UGotta make6understandR;LWe'r2no strangers to loveR9T th2rules1so do IRA full commitment's what I'm thinking ofR9 wouldn't get this from any4guyR;8LHFRURXZRJFRKRXXCRCRERBERBRZRRHFRURXXX"
    .replace(/;(.)([^;]+)/g, ';A$1=r("$2")')
)

Answer 20

Delphi/Pascal. Some issues with casing though. WIP. 1018 characters, including unnecessary whitespace.

program X;
{$APPTYPE CONSOLE}
const
 w:array[32..114] of string = (#10,'(Give','(Ooh)','(Ooh,','A','aching','and','any','around','ask','been','blind','both','but','commitment''s','cry','desert','do','Don''t','down','each','feeling','for','from','full','game','get','give','give,','going','gonna','goodbye','Gotta','guy','heart''s','how','hurt','I','if','I''m','Inside','it','just','know','known','let','lie','long','love','make','me','Never','no','of','on','other','play','rules','run','say','see','shy','so','strangers','tell','the','thinking','this','to','too','understand','up','up)','wanna','we','We''re','We''ve','what','what''s','wouldn''t','You','Your','You''re');
 c='S>;pg S>Mp3 S>Z(&0p S>Qp/ S>[? S>`$N&Dp  ';
 x='kT_dP pKaY&^1E $8.mGbU po:c7''WA EJi`pCG5 @Qpf  '+c+'lL4W6^O qB*%- re]d[I Hj,Kn*=V jKa9&k>XI &Fp)RCG5 2`Rre+d\  '+c+c+  '#;ph #;ph " S><S>; !ph " S><S>; !ph  lK4W6^O qB*%- re]d[I Hj,Kn*=V jKa9&k>XI  EJi`pCG5 @Qpf  '+c+c+c;
var i: Integer;
begin
 for i := 1 to Length(x) do
  write(w[Ord(x[i])]+' ');
end.

Answer 21

PHP - 737 719 Characters

<?$m="str_replace";$c="^g% ^let# down^run around and desert#^make# cry^say goodbye^tell a lie and hurt#@";$w="@We've known each other for so long@Your heart's been aching but@You're too shy to say it@Inside we both know what's been going on@We know the game and we're gonna play it@";$o="(Ooh,g%)@";$a="(Ooh)^give, never gonna give@(G%)@";$i="@I just wanna tell# how I'm feeling@Gotta make# understand@";echo$m("@","<br />",$m("#"," you",$m("%","ive# up",$m("^","@Never gonna ","We're no strangers to love@You know the rules and so do I@A full commitment's what I'm thinking of@You wouldn't get this from any other guy$i$c$w And if# ask me how I'm feeling@Don't tell me#'re too blind to see@$c$c@$o$o$a$a$w$i$c$c$c"))));

Whee for breaking all sorts of rules!

Answer 22

Dart. 802b

Live Online App (press play)

http://try.dartlang.org/s/9mJD

My approach

Uses no compression libraries.

1. The starting string is the lyrics with all duplicate words removed, then split by ' ' into a list.
2. I create 3 strings (4 in the super optimized version), each char is an ascii lookup in the list.
3. The final string injects the first two at various points, using string interpolation.
4. The final string is converted into char codes and used to perform the look ups in the word list.

Verbose Code

void main() {
  var x="We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of wouldn't get this from any other guy just wanna tell you how feeling Gotta make understand Never gonna give up let down run around desert cry say goodbye a lie hurt We've known each for long Your heart's been aching but You're too shy it Inside we both what's going on We game we're play And if ask me Don't you're blind see (Ooh, up) (Ooh) give, never (Give".split(' ');
  var c="DEF>G~DEH>I~DEJK)L>~DEB>M~DENO~DE=PQ)R>~~";
  var d="STU9V*W~XYZ[\\~]^_#N`~abc&dZef~g&'h)iEj`~";
  var a=' !"#\$~%&\'()*+,~-./0123~%456789:~,;<=>?1@~AB>C~~$c${d}kl>mn?1@~o=np^q#r~~$c${c}sF>t~sF>t~u~DEvDEF~x>t~u~DEvDEF~x>t~~$d~,;<=>?1@~AB>C~~$c$c$c';
  var o='';
  a.charCodes().forEach((i) => o += i == 126 ? '\n' : '${x[i-32]} ');
  print(o);
}

Minimized Version

https://gist.github.com/2854180

Answer 23

C# - 494 486 Characters

using System;using System.Text;using System.Security.Cryptography;class C{static void Main(string[]args){HashAlgorithm h=new SHA512CryptoServiceProvider();byte[] b=new byte[1944];Random r=new Random();while(true){r.NextBytes(b);if(BitConverter.ToString(h.ComputeHash(b)).Replace("-","")=="3E842910B334A40BACD7C6AF4126D5433ED42D967A9C10CE9006D85BDAA881ACB013A7483383B6A21624C79737267ACED6CE5BB97600D2C2B3E406B896822A1A"){Console.WriteLine("{0}",Encoding.ASCII.GetString(b));break;}}}}

No guarantees about how long it will take to run, though. Probably trillions of years, at least. And that's if the Random number generator is any good!

I keep generating random bytes until they match the known good hash of the song. I suppose computing a hash is not technicaly "compression," but yeah, this definitely falls in the category of "Cheating!"

Answer 24

Ruby, 741 678 657 627 619 bytes

_="12/3400/5/3/200"
28.times{|i|_.gsub!'120=34589%#^*&@!/?><[]|{}:;~'[i],"We? n{strangers] love/>& the rules!s{d{I/A full commitment's}hat:thinking of/>}ouldn't~et this from;ny<guy/+I just}anna [*@/Gotta make* understand/0+=g#=let* down=run;round!desert*=make* cry=say~oodbye=[; lie!hurt*/+/N^+We've&n each<for s{long/>r heart's been;ching but/>?]{shy] say it/Inside}e both&}hat's been~oing on/We& the~ame!we?|play it/+And if*;sk me@/Don't [ me*?]{blind] see/+8899+(Ooh,~#)/+(Ooh)/N%, n%/(G#)/+^give+ive* up+ever|+ you+ know+ how:feeling+;nd +\n+'re+You+ other +tell+ to+~onna +o + w+ I'm + a+ g".split('+')[i]}
puts _

This is an iterative symbol expansion. For each of the 28 characters of the string in the first argument to gsub!, all occurrences of that character in _ are replaced by the appropriate section of the second string (separated by + characters).

Answer 25

Python, 285 characters

import md5,sha,random
C="\n ')(,ADGIONWYacbedgfihkjmlonpsrutwvy"
L,M,S=1870,"de6e9b659905649220cc3f5d93cb70ab","5bdae7294f4bb9badd8370a47271217ae553da42"
t=""
while md5.new(t).hexdigest() != M or sha.new(t).hexdigest() != S:
  t="".join([random.choice(C) for _ in xrange(L)])
print t,

Generates random 1870-char-long strings of the appropriate alphabet until the MD5 and SHA sums of the string match those of the lyrics to the Rick Astley song "Never Gonna Give You Up".

If unclear that this works, replace line #3 "L,M,S=..." with this one:

L,M,S=3,"e1faffb3e614e6c2fba74296962386b7","606ec6e9bd8a8ff2ad14e5fade3f264471e82251"

Run the program and see it output "AAA", since AAA is 3 chars long, has an MD5 sum of e1faffb3e614e6c2fba74296962386b7 and an SHA1 sum of 606ec6e9bd8a8ff2ad14e5fade3f264471e82251.

Rationale

Trade runtime for code size, since execution time limit is unspecified and success is defined strictly by correctness and code size.

Potential problems

1. Execution time of non-deterministic solution likely exceeds Heat Death of the Universe.
2. Problem specifies that code must be self-contained, it is assumed that importing standard hash functions (md5,sha) are acceptable. Inlining the code for these algorithims would clearly make the programs very large, though if necessary we could switch to some sort of custom hash function.

Potential improvements

1. We can reduce the code size even further by omitting the MD5-related data and relying only on SHA; though it's unclear if this would always lead the correct answer.
2. Speed up our program by including character counts so we're just shuffling permutations, like so:

Python, 410 chars (the long string-building literal can be condensed)

import array as a,sha,random
S,t="5bdae7294f4bb9badd8370a47271217ae553da42",a.array('c',
 "\n"*306+"e"*197+"o"*162+"n"*162+"a"*109+"r"*91+"u"*84+"g"*77+" "*73+
 "t"*69+"y"*66+"v"*57+"d"*49+"l"*43+"i"*39+"N"*38+"s"*36+"h"*34+"w"*26+"m"*20+"'"*19+"k"*17+"b"*15+"p"*12+"c"*11+"I"*9+"f"*9+")"*6+"("*6+"Y"*6+"WWWWW,,,,GGGGOOOOAAjjD")
while sha.new(t.tostring()).hexdigest() != S:
  random.shuffle(t)
print t.tostring(),

Alternatives

1. install popular PHP web application and wait for file to be hacked and output file modified into lyrics by Rick Astley hacker fanboys
2. import rickrolling as r; print r.lyrics
3. integrate lyrics into next POSIX standard as const char * rckrll_txt_r(void)
4. integrate lyric opcodes into next generation x86 instruction set expansion
5. Set up voice-to-text software, call Rick Astley and have him sing into the phone. Sometimes the manual solutions are the best ones.

Answer 26

Python 845 Characters

Encodes words and then lines as asci characters.

w="\n|gonna|you|Never|and|give||tell|make|say|goodbye|a|desert|lie|up|hurt|down|let|run|cry|know|around|it|been|I'm|to|up)|the|so|I|other|how|feeling|too|(Ooh)|play|aching|heart's|You|Your|understand|but|what's|both|we're|long|We've|wanna|on|never|Inside|we|for|give,|each|shy|game|(Ooh,|Gotta|me|(Give|going|We|just|You're|what|A|no|if|any|this|And|known|commitment's|from|you're|love|blind|wouldn't|of|ask|do|full|strangers|see|guy|Don't|rules|get|thinking|We're|*".split("|")
o="!UVN7M:`S!&$4%3!cDZ<,9!&$+%6!jg%s^B;C!&$XT$(!y*^nDp<w!&$,-!@bR*%B;C!Q7YAW?P!I7>z'?t@!]+%K!euld;|r!&$(%1!E!_%=!Iq{imhAx!}fv<o!\(%=!&$*.0'2%!JH:GL!&$58'/%!QkYAW?P!a7>['O$F9!"
l="5.04,/#1%9'+7#:8&$;(*#1%9'+7#1%9'+7#662)32)3#-8&$;#,/#1%9'+7#1%9'+7#1%9'+7"
print "\n".join([[" ".join(["".join(w[ord(p)-35]) for p in k]) for k in o.split("!")][ord(m)-35] for m in l])

Answer 27

Ruby, 1014 bytes

I am just learning programming, so I'm not going to break any records here. But, this was a fun task.

def c
  wonts = ['give you up', 'let you down', 'run around and desert you', 'make you cry', 'say goodbye', 'tell a lie and hurt you']
  wonts.each do |w|
    puts "Never gonna #{w}"
  end
  b
end

def b
  puts "\n"
end

def never
  puts "Never gonna give, never gonna give
(Give you up)"
end

def v1
puts "We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand"
b
end

def v2
  puts "We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but
You're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it"
end

def s1
puts "And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see"
end

def s2
b
puts "I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand"
b
end

def soul
2.times {puts "(Ooh, give you up)"}
puts "(Ooh)"
never
puts "(Ooh)"
never
end

v1
c
v2
s1
b
c
c
soul
b
v2
s2
c
c
c

Answer 28

PHP - 594 Characters

This is by far the shortest PHP one here (and one of the shortest overall.)

<?=str_replace(str_split(';=#^*@9876543210%-_['),explode(':',"3 the :
I just wanna 265Gotta make6 understand#:
9g89let6 down9run around0desert69make6 cry9say goodbye92 a lie0hurt6:

We've3n each-for so long7r hear[ach1but7%shy_ say it
Inside we both3 wha[go1on
We;game0we're4play it
:
(Ooh)9give, never4give
(G8):
(Ooh, g8):
Never4:ive6 up:
You: you: how I'm feel1
: gonna : know:tell:ing : and :'re_o : other : to:t's been "),"We're no strangers_ love7;rules0so do I
A full commitment's what I'm think1of7 wouldn't get this from any-guy=^And if7 ask me how5Don't 2 me6%blind_ see##
@@**^=##");

Answer 29

Perl - 706 699 characters.

Completely safe to cut+paste :)

Did the encoding by eye, should be possible to get a better ratio if I get around to doing some statistical analysis.

$_=q{$_="Fn3strSgersMlovez1C P rules ~s3W IzTfull commitmentXwhatNthYkYg ofz1wouldn'UgeUthis from SyOguyDAn5~if 1askL8Wn'U%L9blYdMsee00z22==A5D00zz"V=Qz64, 64q4 1RVDzI jusUwSnT% 18gottTmakZ1understSd0V2Q, 4 1RVQqoohV0z04 1R0leU1Wwn0run aroun_~deserUJ0makZ1cry0say goodbye0% TliZ~hurUJV%tellV0z6V1J V4giveV5 eachOfor s3longzJr heart!achYg butz9shyMsBYsidZK both C what!goYg onzK C P gamZ~F7plBV~S_V6never 7V_d V7gonnTV!Xbeen VX's VWdoV8howNfeelYgzV9J'rZto3VAzzK'vZCVBay itzVCknowVFK'rZVJyouVKweVYinVL mZVM t3V3o VN I'm VO oPr VZe VPtheVRupVSanVTa VUt Eq([^zq])([^zq]+)/"\r\n(".H."$2)"Ez(\(?[^z]?)/"\r\n".HE(^.)/H;};s'H'uc($1)'g;s:V(.):;G$1/:g;s:E:;eG:g;s:(e?)G(.+?)/(.+?);:;s/$2/$3/g$1;:g;eval;print

Answer 30

C# - 605 characters | T-SQL - 795 characters | C# - 732 characters | C# - 659 characters

The inspiration for this came from the sed example. The only major change I made from that was making the lookups consecutive ASCII characters so they didn't have to be declared. Unfortunately, it is C#, so I don't know how to make it smaller. I took the same replace text and did the code in T-SQL using a temp table.

var f='#';Debug.Print("HWe've0n each o=F forCo long5r hear+@ch>but5E<oChy<C1InsideBe bo=0Bha+;o>onHWe0 =e;ame7weE8pl1|HI justBanna :4*Gotta 2u?Fsta?%|H/93up/let3down/run@rou?7desFt4/2cry/say;oodbye/:@ lie7hurt4|(Ooh)/9,nevF89H(G.|'|(|)| how6feelingH|t's been|, |(Ooh,g.|ive3up)H|HNevF8| know|ay itH|make3|4 | you|HYou| I'm |@? |;onna |give|tell| g| to|th|ing |nd| a|A| w| s|D|'re|er|G|\n"
.Split('|').Aggregate("WeE noCtrangFs< love50 =e rules7so do IHA full commitment'sBhat6=ink>of5Bouldn't;et =is from@ny o=F;uy$H#A? if3ask me*Don't : me4E<o bli?<Cee%%HH--&&#$%%",(x,t)=>x.Replace(f++.ToString(),t)));

T-SQL

CREATE TABLE #t(i int IDENTITY(35,1),t varchar(1000) COLLATE Latin1_General_CS_AS) 
DECLARE @s varchar(4000)
SET @s = REPLACE(REPLACE('
INSERT #t SELECT ''We"ve0n each o=F forCo long5r hear+@ch>but5E<oChy<C1InsideBe bo=0Bha+;o>on
We0 =e;ame7weE8pl1|
I justBanna :4*Gotta 2u?Fsta?%|
/93up/let3down/run@rou?7desFt4/2cry/say;oodbye/:@ lie7hurt4|(Ooh)/9,nevF89
(G.|"|(|)| how6feeling
|t"s been|, |(Ooh,g.|ive3up)
|
NevF8| know|ay it
|make3|4 | you|
You| I"m |@? |;onna |give|tell| g| to|th|ing |nd| a|A| w| s|D|"re|er|G'''
,'"',''''''),'|','''
INSERT #t SELECT ''')
EXEC(@s)
SET @s = 'WeE noCtrangFs< love50 =e rules7so do I
A full commitment''sBhat6=ink>of5Bouldn"t;et =is from@ny o=F;uy$
#A? if3ask me*Don"t : me4E<o bli?<Cee%%

--&&#$%%'
SELECT @s = REPLACE(@s, CHAR(#t.i), #t.t) FROM #t
PRINT @s

C# - Second Try This was try at a different approach. The compression was done entirely by the computer seeking the best replacements. The lookups are sequential and ordered by size so there is no need for delimted lookup, however, the code to do the lookups was less efficient than I thought so it ended up costing 127 more characters overall! Live and learn.

static void Main()
{
var o="6Gn/tr7g0s,+lo-FJrules.Ds+d+}$z8ull commit9nKLtR1ink:ofF23ldn't4et1is8rom.nyUguy]Xn_zDifC.sk 9[\"5't,I 9CM+bliDt/;^^$N<N\\<X_]^^";
for(char z='\0',y;z<12;z++)
{y='_';for(int i=0,f=333,k=65;i<z;k=y-"'?MRTQNL@(} "[i++]){
for(;y>"^]\\[ZVROB) y"[i];){
f-=k;
o=o.Replace(y--.ToString(),"AWGINODY\n,&'()e o  tve a+ser,h wou gon{ean fmeH eeS)tCowaDr oti- y3nd $~P$#3'r*ingellQ1*t's2haGtoT%4ache-@V kn> }'mBC up$(!oh Ah0 g5na K b;n $$6'-QmakeC ay it$ h>R8;lH$<T)EgB% nPgB$(|$} just27na,IC[|Ata Yund0st7d^$EgSEle= d>nErun.r3D?des0=EYcryEsay4oodbyeEtI. li*?hur= eOUfo@s+l5gF@hearWO:butFM/hy,/Z}nsid*w*bAhQLWgo:5$6Jgam*?weGVplZ".Substring(f,k));
if(y==' '){y='~';i++;}}}}
Console.WriteLine(o);
}

3rd try at C#. This time I expiremented with \b,\r,\t characters. You can use \rN\n to replace the first character on the line with a capital N, but it didn't actually save characters. I created \b aliases to move the cursor back and then write over existing text. But none of this saved space and in the end I was still worse off than a simple search-and-replace strategy.

static void Main()
{
    var f='*';
    Console.Write("C04EC0let8downEC0run arouKJdes>t8EC06cryEC0say goodbyeEC0tePa lie Jhurt8E|CWe'veQn each=for sLlongC7r hear?<achFbutC75HoLshyHLs;Inside we bothQ wha?<goFonCWe3ga@ Jwe51pl;|,|CI just wannaHell82CGotta 6und>stJC|(Ooh)C0:, 91:EC(4)R(GC|(Ooh, 4)C|91| gonna |how I'm feelF|QHhe |:8up|'re|make8|You| you |nev>|give|ay itC|been | oth> |er|t's |me|A|EC0|\n|D|RN|ing |G| t|I|aK|nd |o |n't |N|O|ll | know|\r"
    .Split('|')
    .Aggregate(
        "We5 nLstrang>sHLloveC73rules JsLdLICA fuPcommit@n?what I'mHhinkFofC7 wouldMgetHhis from any=guy-*C+AKif8ask @ 2CDoMteP@8\b5HoLbliKtLseeC*C*CC//..+-*C*C*",
        (x,t)=>x.Replace(f++.ToString(),t)));
}